Anything But Black And White [Phan]

one

I wake up in a sweat.

Wait... where the fuck am I? I glance around, and it suddenly comes back to me. My new house. My heart sinks.

I was hoping that when I woke up I would be back home, where I knew my town. I guess not.

I search for my phone, patting the covers until I find it. Checking the time, I get out of bed quietly. It's around 4 AM, so I have a couple hours until I go to my new school, in my new city, from my new house... I am so against the move.

I creep down to my kitchen for a glass of water, parched. I turn the tap on, take a moment to cringe at how loud it is, get my water and gulp it thirstily. I crawl back up to bed, falling asleep hoping I don't have to wake up.

✧

I do wake up. I wake up at 6:55, which is very bad because I have to be at the school by 7:25, which is when it starts. I have to start walking at 7:05, I think.

I throw on my black skinny jeans and a colored t-shirt (or what I think is colored, I can't really tell) because I don't want to immediately be known as "that kid" who wears all black and is totally gay and has a lot of problems, even if I literally am that kid.

I grab my phone, frowning when I see it hasn't been charging. No new messages, surprise surprise. I didn't even have friends in my old town, how am I supposed to make friends here? New starts aren't really my thing. Oh well.

I stumble downstairs, snag my backpack off the table and decide to bring a baggy of cereal to eat secretly in my classes.

My mom isn't here, so there's no one to say goodbye to or anything. I just leave.

Walking through the door, I realize I have no idea where I'm going. I now live on a dead end street on the edge of a small forest, so I figure I should walk to the end of my street at least. I decide to just google maps it, because my sense of direction is pretty bad. I end up taking a couple lefts then just staying on that road until I see the brick building looming above me.

God, I forgot how much I hate school.

At least here, no one has to know I can't see colors. I used to get so much shit for that.

I walk into the building, taking a deep breath and glancing around the crowded halls. Just another school of black and white, just another locker combination, just another place in the world I don't belong.

I don't belong.

I wander around, and finally see a room labeled the principal's office.  I walk in, not sure what to do. I'm not exactly the social type.

"Um... hi, I'm a new student here... Dan Howell..." I mutter. Nice one, so smooth.

The principal looks up at me from her paperwork, shuffles through a drawer or two, and hands me my schedule and a lock.

"Locker 336. Welcome." is all she says before returning to staring tiredly at her papers. Wow, already just loving it here.

I wander the halls for a couple more minutes, a few people bumping into me.

339... 338... 337... ah. I find my locker. Opening it slowly, I realize I don't have anything to put in it to make it feel like mine other than my bag, which I need for my classes. I decide to just lock it back up.

As I turn around, I see a couple people looking at me weird. They begin to walk up to me.

Oh, for fuck's sake, I didn't even do anything!

"Why do you look so fuckin emo? asks one of the three. He has (what I assume is) brown hair that falls into his face, with a snapback doing nothing to help.

"Um... I don't know, this is just kind of the way I dress." I say quietly, trying to avoid conflict. I hate conflict.

"It's weird." he says with a hint of disgust in his voice. Ugh, who even are you, that kid from Horton Hears a Who?

"Give him a break, Leafy." Says a tall kid, with what I'm pretty sure is also brown hair, and a smile that looks too kind for his friends.

"Your name is Leafy?" I can't help but let the words fall out of my mouth.

"I'm Calvin, but everyone calls me Leafy, so that's what you're gonna call me." he sounds quite confident. He's a bit too short to be that rude.

"Alright, whatever." I say, and turn quickly to the boy who defended me.

"Thanks." I say awkwardly. He smiles warmly. "I'm PJ. If you wanna be friends or anything, I'm willing." I smile at that, a friend sounds nice.

"Okay, cool. I'll see you." I say as I turn around and glance down at my schedule. Ugh, why does maths have to be first period? I don't even know what comes after 7 until I've eaten lunch.

I realize the bell is about to ring, and quickly search for the room. I slip into my seat seconds before it goes off, panting.

I go through my day slowly and quietly, avoiding everything and everyone, doing my worksheets, praying no one will decide to bash me.

When I get to English, which is 5th period, I sit in the back, next to a boy with undoubtably jet black hair. He keeps his head down most of the time, only looking up to copy down notes at lightning speed then continue to doodle. I see the YouTube sign doodled multiple times, and wonder if he is a YouTuber.

The class ends and I realize that I failed to listen and most of my notes were too messy to read, damn.

When I get to my next class, the same boy is sitting in the back again. I take another seat next to him. He's still doodling.

I decide to take a chance and try and make a friend.

"Hey," I say quietly, "do you do YouTube?" I ask. He doesn't look up, just nods a bit. Cool.

"I've always wanted to get into YouTube but I was too scared that I'd mess it up..." I admit thoughtfully. I still haven't seen his face, I'm kind of interested now too.

"What's your name?" I don't expect an answer, he is focused on a lion doodle.

The boy looks up at me with shocking colored eyes. Colored eyes that I can see. Anything but black and white.

"I'm Phil."