Forever

10. I Love You

She could feel guilt and fear creeping into her stomach, a sickening twist of her gut which tied her in place. In the face of her present situation, the corner she was being pushed into, breathing had become a difficult task. The steady 'creak' and 'groan' of the rocking chair was the only sound that filled the room small box room, and the distance between them was the only thing that made the situation safe, comfortable. She eyed the gap between the chair and her desk, her book pressed close against her lap nervously, her fingers playing restlessly with the already worn pages, doing exactly what she hated doing, dog-earing the pages, if she actually saw what she was doing, she would probably gasp in horror.

It was the day after hers and Emmett's... Evening, the day after her revelation of where her future was intended, she didn't want to build expectation, but she was serious about this, or as serious as one could be, as pathetic as that sounded, and it seemed wrong to have interests in another, whilst betrothed to his brother, it seemed sickeningly wrong. Today was also the day she had decided to purchase a whole new bedding set. But she had still yet to tell Edward the truth, but from the way he sniffed the air, his nose curling unpleasantly, and the way his eyes gazed at the bedding suspiciously, she knew that her explanation had not gained his full trust, but to reveal the truth... He seemed dangerous, she didn't know him any more, didn't know exactly how he would react, what he would do to her or to Emmett. She didn't know him any more, he wasn't soft and forgiving and after everything she suddenly felt terribly unsure. Some may call it doubt, cold feet, but it wasn't. She was scared. It wasn't fear of what she would lose, it was fear of the repercussions, the consequences, the fear of what would happen to Emmett.

She had seen them fight before, albeit it had not truly been 'fighting' in the real sense of the term, and more playing, however she knew the chances of Emmett winning were not as high as she hoped. He may be strong, but he had one disadvantage which would end in his downfall. He didn't possess Edward's gifts, and from history; she knew it would be his weakness, the one hurdle he wouldn't be able to jump. Every swing Emmett would throw, Edward would dodge, she had seen it countless times before. Bella's chest ached at the thought of him getting hurt for her own selfishness, a tightening in her throat, a nervous tickle in her stomach which seemed to tie her down, she couldn't risk it, Emmett was so big, and warm, as odd as it may sound, and so comfortable, he didn't deserve to fight her battles.

Her thoughts were silenced as the creaking stopped and Edward stood from his seat, his hand reaching up to push back his thick mop of hair, a blank look on his perfect, sharp features, Adonis in the cold, hard flesh, no heartbeat, no familiarity in the featured she had once spent hours tracing with her fingers, when had she fallen out of love with him?

"So what do you want to do today Bella?" As she glanced up from her book, She knew what he wanted, she knew that he wouldn't be happy unless her plans revolved around him. But she did have plans, and she knew the answer he would give before she asked.

"Actually, I was planning on visiting Jacob today..." It came out more like a question, a hesitant statement, and she wanted to slap herself for the lack of confidence, her tone had already given him the option to decline, he would take advantage of her insecurity, beat her confidence till she couldn't fight him any more. She could see his eyes darken, a frown curling his face into something bitter and distasteful.

"No, absolutely not Bella, I refuse to allow that." He said firmly, standing straight, crossing his arms and staring at a spot above her head, his lips turned down in a grimace. She sputtered, her eyes widening as she laughed away her growing anger, knowing that violence or even throwing her book at him would serve no purpose other than damage a perfectly valuable novel. She wanted to slap that look of his face, but the prospect of touching him put her off, because touching him would only hurt herself and open a chance for him to touch her back.