Imagine This - Larry Stylinson

Seven: For So Long, I Have Loved You

For So Long, I Have Loved You

Inspired by: A lot of my stuff is inspired by scenarios I see or experience in my daily life, um, my fingers were itching to write this as a little stress reliever of sorts.

Type: More AU / Less Possible

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Imagine This...

Louis debated on picking up the phone. He tended to do this a lot in situations like these. He'd pace around, back and forth, anxiety taking over. He would wallow in his thoughts and then want to vent his life out to someone. That was the hard part though-venting and releasing his darkest secrets to a single person he could hope to trust with all his might.

He quickly picked up his phone and sent a quick "hey". He was never sure of what to say. Always wanting to let others know of the pain he was suffering, but then not wanting anyone to know how fucked up his mind and his life were.

Just a minute later, his phone buzzed with a new notification. A small part of him felt relieved that they had answered, not really wanting to admit that to himself.

He picked up the phone and clicked the home button. His stomach dropped just a bit in disappointment when he realized it wasn't a new message, simply a notification from another app that was useless at the moment being. He sighed and put the phone back down and laid back down on the couch. It was very late at night and he didn't know why he'd gotten his hopes up that the other person would reply.

He sat up on the couch and bit his fingernails, trying to calm himself down. He was in the middle of staring intensely at the fireplace when his phone buzzed, multiple times, signaling a phone call was coming through.

"Hello?" Louis said softly.

"Hey Lou, is everything okay?" The other person replied, worried.

"Yeah, I just... I couldn't sleep. I'm not feeling my best right now and I just wanted to talk. I'm sorry if I woke you."

"It's no problem, I wasn't fully asleep, I was only starting to doze off. What's up?"

"It's nothing. Kind of dumb actually, I just... I don't know how to say it, or explain it."

"Say whatever comes to mind first, just let any words out."

"Okay well, I... I'm just upset I guess. He stormed out of the house and I don't know where he went. I get worried when he leaves suddenly at this time of night."

"Did you guys have a fight?"

"Yeah," Louis sighed. "It was stupid. It was my fault too, I should've just kept quiet."

"Hey, it's not all your fault. If you have something to say, say it. A relationship bases itself off of communication, you guys should be able to talk things out without anyone storming out."

"Yeah, I know. I just wish he didn't get so mad at me all the time... I mean, no. He's not always mad at me, but I... I just feel like our fights are always my fault. Or at least he makes me feel like they are..." He whispered that last past to himself.

"I'm sure they're not your fault. And maybe right now you guys just need a little bit of space. It's nothing to fret about, I'm sure you guys will be fine. You've been together for what, 3, 4 years?"

"Yeah, almost 4."

"That's a long time and small fights won't do much harm if you love each other."

Louis wanted to scream. He wanted to yell into the phone and confess everything. Confess every single time he'd cried himself to sleep. Confess all the abuse he took. The beatings that had found their way to places that could be hidden. The verbal abuse that had fucked over his entire "I am worth something" mantra. The cheating that tore him to pieces every single time. All the hurt he'd been through in the past 2-3 years of his relationship. All the wrong he felt he had to suck up and endure because he knew no one would ever "love" him nor care for him like now. And even after all the bad, he couldn't leave, simply because he didn't know different.