Undeserving Of Your Sympathy

Chapter 1

Dean pulled into the bunkers garage and slid the keys out of the Impalas ignition. He ran a hand over his face as he sighed tiredly before shuffling out of the car and into the bunker, not even looking back to see if Sam and Cas were following him. The two others trailed after him moments later and all headed to different parts of the bunker after mumbling a quick "See you in the morning."

Dean yawned as he made his way to his room, which in his opinion, is way too damn far away from Baby to his liking. He finally reached his room and immediately took of his jacket and boots, glad to be free of the extra weight. Dean pulled out a pair of sweatpants and his old ACDC shirt before changing and gently stretched out on his bed. The latest hunt, a witch, had really done a number on him. He winced while stretching and rubbed his sore shoulder before flicking out the bedside light and falling asleep.

Sleep wasn't peaceful; he had a nightmare of the Mark. It was a recurring nightmare. It would always start out the same. He would break free of the chair Sam and Cas had had him tied into to keep him from leaving the bunker. He'd find the Blade hidden amidst other magical and cursed items in boxes, and hunt down Sam. He always ended up killing Sam, and then hunting down Cas, who was miraculously in the bunker. Sometimes he'd get to killing Cas, though sometimes he'd wake up before he got to that point in the nightmare. Today was one of the days where he woke after he watched the life leave Cas's eyes, with blood, both his and Cas's, all over Cas's old trench coat.

Dean woke up with a jolt, his breathing was erratic. He laid there for a few minutes reassuring himself that it was all a dream, just a dream. He was breathing deeply but that didn't do very much in means of settling his fear. His thoughts were racing so fast it was hard for him to process everything that was going on in his head. What if one of these days I really do hurt them? I'm a monster, how can I not be? I've already killed so many people because of the Mark. I can't control myself. I couldn't live live with myself if I killed Sammy or Cas. I can barely live with myself now. Dean groaned and massaged his temples trying to calm down. He glanced at his bedside table and saw that it was only a quarter past 3 in the morning. "Son of a bitch," Dean whispered in annoyance. Why did he have to have this dumb nightmare at ass-o'clock in the morning?

The sound of feet thudding softly could be heard walking down the hall. It sounded like it was coming towards his room but he wasn't sure because it was such a soft sound. He wouldn't have even heard it if he wasn't paying attention. Dean screwed his eyes shut and prayed to god that no one came into his room. His hopes were crushed when the footsteps stopped in front of his door. Please don't come in here. Dean held his breath as he heard his doorknob turn and he made a split second decision to pretend to be sleeping. He closed his eyes and steadied his breathing, dropping his head back onto the cool pillow before he heard the familiar sound of his door creaking open. The hairs on the back of his neck stood up at the feeling of being stared at by whoever just entered his room. He heard a gravelly voice call out his name. He didn't say anything hoping that Cas would just leave him alone until he actually got up in the morning. Except Cas didn't leave. He just stood there for what felt like hours even though it was probably only a minute or two. Dean was starting to panic a little because if what if Cas just stood there until he "woke up"? He wouldn't put it past him, the angel had no sense of boundaries most times. But Dean heard the soft sound of feet on the floor and he opened his eyes to see Cas closing his door.

What the hell was that? What did he want? Dean was thoroughly confused by what just happened. He started counting all the cracks and marks on his ceiling trying to feign off sleep in fear of having another terrifying nightmare, but also in order to keep his mind off of what happened with Cas. It's happened more than once that he had multiple nightmares in a single night and those were the worst kind of nights for Dean. Each time he would wake up he would be in even more terrified than before. Eventually sleep won and he passed out.