Recover from sadness

First Hand Experience Of Hell

Matt Haig once explained how it can be proven that it is much easier to take ones life than to continue living with pain, with this statement I wholeheartedly agree as the aching that I bare within my chest not only upsets myself, but the people and loved ones around me too. Yet they don't understand. I'm not saying they should, I would never wish the feeling of which I am experiencing upon anyone else as not only am I having thoughts of which are not there, I am deeming them true In my brain when I know for a fact they're not. Being told to "cheer up", in no way whatsoever will cheer me up! I know this may be dismal of me but how can one see the light of day as a new beginning when a shadow of the past clings to you like a most dominant entity. I am hurt, by what you ask? I have no clue myself, although myself is who I blame. When I gaze into the mirror for days with a large instinct to spit in my own face. "You are worthless" I tell myself, not the most motivational comment I know but I have no positives. It is almost the third year of which I haven't spoken to my asshole of a Father, he treated me like shit for years until one day I snapped as he shoved me into a shabby glass door and continued in calling me a useless bitch, to which I replied "I know". Following my statement his face turns to neutral as he watched my bold exit, I never returned to his side. You'd think that after a year I would have received at least on phone call and there you're wrong, he built a new family with his new girlfriend, what a piece of work...
You might be wondering where this story is going, honestly I have no clue myself but I'm just here as an example of how you can have good days and bad days. I just hope you'll stay with me to experience mine with some added tips to stay happy.