Made a reservation, you're my favorite place to be
All day, contemplatin' baby, waitin' patiently
There's nobody like your body way you climb on top of me
We're in hell and lady you're the closest thing to heavenly
I want you all to myself, nothing...
Alanna Jamison Savannah, Georgia August 23rd, 2012 3:45pm
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Once the bus stopped, I didn't hesitate at all to run home. I opened the door rushing into the house, running directly towards the bathroom.
"Alanna is that you baby?" Questioned my mom
"Yes ma, it's me." I yelled back taking out a box with little white stick from my bag
"Are you okay?"
"Yea I'm fine, I just have to pee really bad."
I squatted over the toilet peeing onto the stick, I have no clue how people can take these things and not feel weird about it.
"Do you want something to eat?"
"No mom, I'm fine, thanks."
I flushed the toilet placing the cap back onto the stick and placing it onto the counter, before pulling my pants up.
I washed my hands drying them, before placing a five minute timer onto my phone. The instructions said two, but I wanted to be beyond sure. This answer could change my whole entire life.
"What are you doing in there, are you constipated? It doesn't take that long to pee hunny." My mother continued
I love her, but I swear she could be so annoying. She enjoys when i come home, just so she could sit me down and ask me about my day.
My family is big on safe sex and being virgins til marriage, If she knew what I was doing now she'd go ballistic.
"Mom, please just leave me be, I'll be out in just a second."
"Okay."
I waved my fingers through my hair throwing it into a sloppy bun.
"Please, please, please." I mumbled to myself as I placed my face in the palms of my hands
I waited a few more minutes for the timer to go off, and as soon as it did I placed it on silent picking up the test.
I couldn't believe my eyes, but then again I could. It clearly stated pregnant, and it was the most effective test the store had.
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I placed the toilet seat down sitting on it, as I just stared at the stick. A million questions began running through my head.
Why did this have to happen now? How am I going to tell my mom? How can I raise a baby? How is the dad going to react?
"Baby I-" my mom got silent once she burst into the bathroom seeing what was in my hand "why do you have that?" She questioned
"I -I" she wouldn't even let me finish my sentence before interrupting me
"Ay mami, Lana please tell me you didn't." She sighed
"I'm sorry ma." I spoke shaking my head as tears ran down my face
"Lana what did I tell you, always use protection, and if not that wait til marriage."
"I know, it just happened I didn't mean to."
"It's by that thug, the one everyone says they see you with isn't it?" She asked
"He's not a thug, he loves me he tells me so everyday. This was just a small mistake."
"You're fifteen, what are you gonna do with a baby?"
"I can find a way to take care of it, I - I can get a job." I suggested
"You can't get one until you're seventeen, that's two years. You have to find out how to get money, a babysitter, and where to live." She spoke
I looked up at her furrowing my eyebrows.
"Oh no mami, you didn't think you were still going to be living with me did you? If you can't follow my rules than you can't live under my roof. Let's hope that boy loves you as much as you says he does, because you're his priority now."
"But ma." I cried
"No, there are no buts, you knew what you were doing when you laid down. It's time for you to know what you're doing when you have to stand up and raise it." She spoke "I want you out now, don't take any clothes or anything. I want you to see how hard it is to raise a child and take care of yourself just the way I did."
She stood me up wiping my tears, before she lead me out of the bathroom towards the front.
I was lost for words, I couldn't even speak. My eyes were full of tears, and my cheeks was beginning to be too.
"I love you mija." She spoke before kissing my forehead "good luck."
She then walked back in shutting the door. Her calmness would make you think she would easily take me back, but if you knew my mother like I did you'd know that this was the end.
I was never a bad child, it was just this small mistake.
I wiped my face as I walked down the street with nothing but the clothes on my back, and 100 dollars worth of lunch money I've been saving.
It took me about fifteen minutes to reach my boyfriends house. He was sitting on the porch with a few of his friends, once he saw me he stood up and jogged down the steps meeting me in the driveway.
"What you doing here?" He scoffed
He was beyond angry at this moment for some reason.
"I-I'm p-"
"You're fifteen." He said cutting me off
"Huh?"
"Ya fifteen, what ya thought I wouldn't find out? You lied to me about yo fuckin age, I could go to jail for fuckin wit'chu." He pointed out
"Maurice, it's only five years difference." I replied
"Only five fuckin years, I'm twenty Alanna, you know how yo fuckin mama is. She willing to throw anyone in Muhfuckin jail. I thought our shit was based off of trust, and you lied ta me about the simplest shit." He spat
"If I would've told you, I knew you wouldn't have even talked to me." I spoke fighting the tears from running down my face
"Ya damn right, ion want shit ta do with ya, don't hit me up, don't have no eye contact with me, don't even walk across the street from me. None of that shit, we done Alanna, get yo ass out my yard."
"But I'm p-"
"Go Alanna !" He exclaimed causing me to jump back a little
I just nodded my head walking away. I've been through a lot of shit, but I've never thought I'd go through this.
----------------------------- This is just a flashback by the way🙂
