I brought my shaking, jittering hand to my stomach.
I skimmed my finger across the fat I hated.
Then I froze and stared blankly at the ceiling, laying on my back.
I didn't feel like myself.
I never did.
"Just because you move your hips doesn't mean that you exist. Just because you move your lips doesn't mean th-"
"Hello?" I spoke into the phone, my heart fluttering with eagerness.
"Hey Lily. It's dad."
My heart dropped.
"Yes, what is it." I replied with no emotion in my tone.
"Your mom told me about your report card. Congratulations, kiddo."
I sighed, "Thanks."
"I was wondering if you wanted to go celebrate, maybe go to out to eat somewhere, oh, how about your favorite spot, what was it, wait don't remind me... Uh, hold on its on the tip of my tongue..."
I looked down at my bare stomach, pumped with lard while my dad went on trying to figure out the name.
"I'll have to pass. Thanks anyway."
"...Is everything alright Lily?"
"Yeah, I'm just not up for celebrating about something that happens all the time."
"Well, if you change your mind you know what to do." He chuckled and it faded into what sounded like worry.
"Bye dad." I hung up before he could even say anything else.
I dropped my phone on the carpet and sighed.
I rolled over to stare at the clock, blankly.
I was supposed to hang out with him today.
He didn't answer, call, text, nothing.
I had a staring contest with the clock until I dozed off.
