A Grain of Sand Among the Leaves (Naruto Fanfic)

The Way the World Curses Us

"I'm sorry."

The words rang hollow, eating away at Kushina's soul, her eyes fixed on the wall in front of her as her fingers gripped the bench tightly, turning her knuckles white. The apology came from one of the medical-nin months ago, and yet she found herself unable to erase the words from her mind.

"It was a false positive," was soon followed up with the news she couldn't have children. At first, she thought to blame the spirit sealed inside of her for her fate, but realized the luck she had couldn't be blamed on the fox; the previous host had, in fact, had children, plenty of them. Kushina never thought she'd want to be a mother, but the false promise and seeing her best friend Mikoto's two children created a strange ache that wouldn't go away.

A thump drew her mind away from her own troubles, her violet eyes taking in the white haired youth sitting on the bench near her, his foot having kicked the bench in irritation. A smirk spread across her face as she lunged at the arm of the fourteen-year-old arm, attaching herself firmly, the urge to tease him chasing away the doldrums. "Let's hit the hot-springs when Minato's done with the Kazekage, alright?"

"Ew, no." Kakashi shrugged her arm away, a blush spreading across his cheeks and ears, made even more evident with his white hair. "How come you've become more clingy lately?"

The tone of the young jonin's voice was strained, his dark eyes darting away as his mouth moved under the mask as his lips pushed into a frown. Kushina ignored his question, and instead latched herself to his arm. "Come on. You, me, Minato. We're family, right, so it's not a problem."

"I'm not a little kid anymore! Sheesh!" The fourteen-year-old shrugged her off again, then muttered under his breath. "It would have been fun, though, if..." Kakashi stopped, his eyes closing, his Adam's apple visibly bobbing. The teen leaned back, raising up his fingers to twiddle them in a nervous manner. Kushina pulled back, looking up at the ceiling as the negative feelings came hurtling back. "Thank you for trying to cheer me up, though."

"We shouldn't have told you."

Kushina remembered how the young man's eyes lit up when she and Minato told the young jonin that they were expecting, but also how they darkened upon finding out the mistake. The two watched as Kakashi ranted about how it wasn't fair, that two people who would make wonderful parents would be denied such a joy.

Her eyes drifted to the other side of the small hallway at the two small children huddled together, their small feet hanging from the bench. Kushina watched their hands clench together, their small faces filled with worry. The young female leaned forward, smiling. "Don't worry you two, your mother and the baby will be alright. Your uncle Yashamaru and the Hokage are both in there, so things will be fine."

The eyes of the two children widened, and Kakashi lets out a laugh. "Little kids are afraid of you." Kushina's lips pushed together, the side of her hand coming down on the top of the young jonin's head. "Ouch!"

...

The situation they were in started simple enough.

The Kazekage's brother-in-law greeted them at the entrance to Suna, Minato managed to smile, never faltering in his role as Hokage. Both Kushina and Kakashi, however, didn't smile, although the fact wasn't obvious on the younger due to the mask he always wore. Anyone looking at the pair could see their eyes drifting away, but also dull from boredom and melancholy.

"Why did Minato pick me over one of the Anbu for his personal bodyguard on this political meeting with Suna?" The question from Kakashi never got answered, as all three knew that the young man wasn't picked just because of his skill, although said skill was a selling point. Kushina remembered Minato telling her he thought all three of them needed a change of scenery after the news.