My Sister's Boyfriend

Chapter 2

I don't understand teenagers who don't take full advantage of being young. I'm a firm believer in living the "YOLO" way. I'm also a firm believer in using cheesy slang words sarcastically. Now I'm not saying to be completely reckless and risk your life. I'm just talking in the context of relationships, and having a social life. 

People are going to judge you no matter what so just take that tequila shot, go talk to that cutie at the bar, flirt with the guy you've always thought was cure, spark up a conversation with that girl you've wanted to be friends with all year. 

Of course, I realize the "party" life isn't for everyone but I think everyone should at least give it a shot. Once you're out of college and you decide you want to go through that party phase you never experienced, you might as well classify yourself as an alcoholic or a wash-up living in the past. Now I do agree, grades are important but in college there is so much time to study. It's so easy to balance a social life with your academic life. 

These are the thoughts that plague me as I'm out with all three of my closest friends. Two drinks into the night and I'm finally loosening up a little. Don't get me wrong, I don't need alcohol to have fun, in fact 9 times out of 10 I don't even like to drink. Because I'm someone who embraces myself I don't mind if people judge me for having fun, tonight I will just have alcohol help me get to the point where I'm not stuck in my thoughts. 

Caden, Ryan, Kelsey and I are all sitting at a table in the all too crowded bar. The new comers all take advantage of the loud music and designated "dance floor," but the few times I've been here this year have been enough to know the dance floor isn't a place you want to be unless you're seeking out inappropriate grabs by lurking men. 

As the night goes on and the drinks begin to add up, I notice Caden somehow scooted close enough that our legs are brush firmly up against each other. I like to test out theories that float through my mind and after our 6 months of friendship I still wonder if Caden would ever look at me in a way that doesn't involve the friend zone. Thinking about this, I scoot just far enough away that our legs are no longer touching, acting like I was stretching when in reality I was just moving to see if he's touching me on purpose or simply by accident. Within mere seconds he's somehow close enough that now not only our legs are touching but our hips are too. 

Unexpectedly he reaches around and squeezes my side causing me to look up laughing but when I see that look in his eyes I freeze. He had that look. You know which one, everyone does. That look guys get when they finally let their guard down and all you can see is vulnerability. They stare directly into your eyes before looking up and down your face with adoration as if they're trying to memorize every little detail, every flaw, before honing in on your lips. 

It was in this exact moment I knew I was failing at keeping my barrier up because at that moment I knew he would drop Meghan in an instant. It's really indescribable to see someone with nothing but love when they look at you, it's not something you can simply explain in words, you just know it when you see it. 

The part of me that has serious commitment issues tells me to just run. To distance myself as much as I can and slowly just cut off communication. The logical side of me tells me I don't want to abandon Cade and I'm happy to have finally found a friend who understands me. I don't want to lose that and I'm so tired. So tired of running. 

Thank goodness for the logical side of me because in that second I decide I don't want to lose my best friend over some dumb look I easily could have imagined, I'll just make sure to subtly set some boundaries between us. I'm awkward and overwhelmed by the tension in the air between us, so instead of doing anything impulsive I lean over and give him a hug, breaking the palpable tension surrounding us. He easily reciprocates the hug, quietly asking me if I'm good.