#icanteven [joshler]

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" just got cheated on, no it's not my day "

After what I saw josh did, I can't forgive him. not like this. how could he? josh would never do this to me. "well he did,he doesn't love you, you're stupid and worthless" blurryface tells me. I begin to shake, my heart is pounding, I'm spinning, my chest aches, and then suddenly I know I'm having a panic attack. only josh can help me. I can die right here. now I feel like I don't care anymore and sit down on a side of a curb. "Jesus I don't even know where I am, I ran too far...from..." I say as my mind replays what happened.

REPLAY:

"JOSH BABE" I say as I walk into my dark house me and josh bought. I stuggle to turn on the lights. that's when I finally turn them on to figure out that josh isn't on the first floor. "he must be upstairs" I mentally tell myself. "JOSH I GOT YOUR FAVORITE MOVIE!!" he never stopped texting me about how he wanted to watch a movie a cuddle all day. "JOSH?!" I repeat as I walk upstairs. I hear moaning. josh's moaning. I find myself get hardened as i think about a naked josh waiting for my touch. but that's when it all stopped. i opened the door to josh and i's bedroom. my heart fell down to my stomach and just shattered. "shit,sorry tyler,baby let me explain" josh says as he struggles to get himself and the man whore covered.

FLASHBACK ENDS:

"I can't stop myself from thinking about that moment. I can't" I whimper as I cry to myself on this Lonely night in the dark. I walk into the forest and spend the rest on the night. thinking. I'm never forgiving josh. I can't.