Lies I Thought Were True.

Chapter 1- To Whom It May Concern.

I stand above the spilled bottle of poison, well, when i say poison i mean laundry detergent. I feel like it would be so easy, to just take a drink. You do it everyday. But i guess it means a bit more when it's a cocktail of chemicals designed to clean your laundry as well as stop your blood from circulating. You can't feel your blood moving, but it is. And it's important. I guess it's like the circulation of the Earth. It moves, and if it stops it would be anarchy. One half would burn, one half would freeze. My death wouldn't matter to anyone, people die everyday. Thousands. Maybe even millions. The Earth would not stop rotating just for me. Sometimes i feel as if the sky is falling and the Earth is crumbling before me. And i can't trust the walls to not cave in on me. I can't trust my lungs to continue to breathe. And i can't trust my heart to not stop beating. But, maybe that's not such a bad thing. I look down. My suicide note covered in tears. Should i even write one? I think. I mean, it'll just cause more commotion, people will try to decipher my lies and start blaming people other than myself. My mother will be to blame first, of course she will act as if she never noticed anything and it was a complete surprise, though, in reality she is the one who taught me to conceal my depression, and hide it away. She pushed me over the edge. And here i am, in the dim light of a Motel 8 room, I write my suicide note. Passerby don't even notice that the young girl who paid for a room with her fake Id and mother's credit card is about to be forgotten history. I bring the cup of poison to my mouth as a memory shoots across my mind. Laura. My best friend. She doesn't know. She never knew what i was going through all these years. She doesn't understand. And here i am. Breathing just fine even though i'm about to end my own life. I don't think anyone knows exactly what happens after you die. And if heaven and hell really do exist then i'm bound to spend eternity in a fiery pit. And that's okay. I think that i deserve it. I understand the fact that people will see me as selfish. But in my mind i think that i have a life that i don't deserve, and i think maybe if reincarnation does exist, maybe i'll give my life to that one little boy in africa, who never got to see the light of day. He sure as hell deserves it more than i do. I begin to write my suicide note down on paper.

To whom it may concern, i have decided to take my own life. The decision was my own to make. Lie. I am truly sorry for the inconvenience of my death. Lie. I understand that what i have done is selfish, Lie. But it was to end my own pain, so as to not cause anyone else to have to deal with it. Lie. I'm sorry. Lie.

~ Annabelle Thompson.

I raise the glass of poison to my lips and drink. "I'm sorry." I whisper as i fall onto the nicely made bed. This was not a lie.