Bucky's True Love? [Finished] Winterwidow fanfic)

Bucky's True Love? (Winterwidow fanfic)

Bucky's True Love?

I live in a house provided to me by S.H.I.E.L.D. Yeah, pathetic right? They provide me a house and all my food because, like the Captain and his wife, I took a "power nap" into the future.   Steve now has a little girl, Reagan, and is happily married to Peggy.  Me?  I'm alone.  It's like Steve and I switched lives.  He now has the girl, a family, and other benefits while all I have is an old picture of my last girlfriend, back during the war, and lost memories.

I tried to remember what happened after I fell but nothing comes back to me.  Steve says he knows a little of what happened but he says that I have to remember for myself.  What help he is.  As if that isn't enough, I've been having nightmares.  Usually they're all the same.

 Steve is trying to help me get back into his life as a friend and fellow soldier, but he doesn't have much time alone. He's busy with his wife, he's busy with their daughter, S.H.I.E.L.D. has him on his toes.. Yeah.. Very busy.

I, on the other hand, am not loved as much as he is. I've fallen into a deep privacy lifestyle. I don't get out much, other than when I'm at the Captain's. I came to realize that no one really has time for me. No one truly cares.

That's what's making me write this. I'm documenting the past week because of how memorial it is to me. Though I don't know if whoever is reading this actually cares...

It started at a get together at Steve's place; I've just been given an award from S.H.I.E.L.D. for finding out the mole in their systems and Steve thought it called for a drink (even though he can't get drunk). Captain, Peggy, their 5-year-old daughter, a few agents and myself were all present.  We were all dressed in our uniforms and opening a bottle of campaign.

I can't recall how, I was under the influence at the time, but one of the agents who came had gotten into a fight with Peggy about some military strategy.  I took the liberty of taking Steve's daughter to her room so that the "adults" could calm themselves down.

 Reagan's a princess of a girl and I've found out she's become fond of me.. I never knew someone actually cared as much as she did. She was always bugging me with the cutest things, I actually rather liked it..

"Uncle Bucky, daddy says you're a hero and that you saved his life!" She'd say, "Do you want to see my Bucky Bear? It looks just like you Uncle Bucky!" "Are you going to tell me a story?" "When can you come over and play with me?" She was always full of questions and curiosity, so I gladly told her a story when I put her to bed that night.

"How'd Daddy save your life? He always said you were the hero." She had said as I tucked her in.

"Well Sweet, I was at the brink of life and death. Then your father had came to save me, along with at least a hundred men." I took my hat off and put it on Bucky Bear's head, it was a little too big so it fell over his eyes. I smiled, "I was strapped to an operating table, though I haven't the slightest idea why. I was unconscious for a good two days; I heard footsteps when I woke. Sure enough, your daddy came in and looked down at me. He sure looked relieved and he sure looked bigger... In fact, I remember him saying that he thought I was dead; and I responded by saying that I thought he was smaller."

She laughed at that, and I told the story of what I've heard about Steve defeating Red Skull. She was asleep by the time I finished. So I left her room and sat out in the hall, the "adults" were quietly murmuring in the evening room; I couldn't tell if they were still arguing or if someone left. I sat down and leaned against the wall.

I had a sudden feeling of loneliness even though Steve and Peggy were so near. I reached into my chest pocket and pulled out a piece of paper. Too long had I avoided looking at Connie's face... Too long had it been since her death. It must happened during my absence, the time that escaped my mind; the time in my life that I can't remember. How I wish she was still here, now there's no one for me.