30 Days

Day Two

" loving someone with your heart
and loving someone with your mind
are two very different kinds of love "

;

The first thing that comes to mind when I wake up, for the first time in seven years, is not Kiera Mae. In fact, when I open my eyes, I'm surprised by the fact that her long, dark hair and stunning blue eyes don't make their way into my thoughts.

No, there's no long hair and blue eyes.

But instead, there's wild, curly hair and dark brown eyes.

Emilia's laughing voice is running through my head, her smiling face shoving itself in front of my closed eyes. She's grinning, talking to me, and I remember the exact day where that memory happened. We were sophomores, and it was quite late, but we were still at the school. I had gone to her track meet earlier that afternoon, and we had stuck around afterward to celebrate her receiving her varsity letter. We had just sat on a bench for hours, blurting out random things, laughing so hard at things that weren't funny that we ended up crying.

That's the first thing that goes through my mind when I wake up. And it's beautiful—no, it's not Kiera beautiful—but it's pure. It's a good memory, not a good creation of my imagination.

But soon, happy images of Emilia and me are replaced by worries about how I messed up with her and how I can fix it. And then those worries are replaced by anxiety about Kiera's secret I now hold. That she plays piano, and she's quite good at it too.

After I'm done getting ready for the day, I head downstairs and have a bite to eat before leaving for school. But before I can make it all the way out the door, I hear my mother's voice calling me from down the kitchen. Shrugging, I close the door and walk back into the house.

"Yeah, Mom?" I say, raising my eyebrows at her. She's still in her robe and slippers, and stands in front of me with her arms crossed in front of her.

"Why are you leaving so early? Are you meeting with a teacher before school starts?" she asks, gesturing to the clock behind us. I turn around slowly, and my eyes widen when I see the time. 5:45- an hour earlier than I usually leave the house in the morning.

"Uh, yeah, I needed some help with a... history paper," I lie, stuttering. I shut my mouth tightly, knowing she wouldn't buy that. I've never been able to lie to my mom, especially since I realized even when I did lie, she always knew the truth.

"Let's sit for a moment," she replies softly, taking my arm and sitting me down in a chair before sitting down herself. "I think we should talk."

Her words send my mind whirling. Everything I've ever done that could get me in trouble runs through my head, even from years ago. "A—About what?" I swallow hard, looking over at her.

"You're not in trouble, don't worry." Through her tired expression, I think I see a hint of a smile. "I... I just want to check up on you about some things. That's all."

"What things? Everything's fine—good. Everything's good. I don't need checking up on. In fact, I should be going—" I stand up as words spill out of my mouth, but she catches my arm and holds it tight. With a sigh, I sit back down.

"You've been out of it lately. And I've noticed because this has happened before." She tilts her head at me, a real smile on her face. "Remember in seventh grade, when you started to really like Kiera? I do. Because you didn't talk to me about things you usually talked to me about for weeks. You avoided the topic of school completely. You didn't want me to know."

I clench my jaw. There's only one direction this could go in.

"It's happening again." Now her smile has turned sad, her eyebrows furrowed in concern. "Except this time, you're not talking to me at all. You're in your room all the time, and rushing out of the house... An hour early."