As one such as I; the despicable, the hated, the one of the ending time, friendship and positive emotion are expressed towards me in minuscule quantities. With this absence of emotion being directed towards me I have begun to develop a human emotion not present within my being in the past. This emotion is of a beastly nature known in the past only to humans; I have begun to hate the creatures that I exist for. I am present in this life only to carry them from their physical bodies into my own. To carry them to the existence in which they would no longer feel pain or those despicable emotions. The living are foolish creatures who seem to enjoy their emotions, even enjoy their pain.
Some are fearful of me, some embrace me, some gift me with their own lives or even the lives of others; but whether or not they accept me I come. I come out of respect for their pain and their emotions with open arms, to free them from such trivial bonds.
I am not usually accepted.
In all of the time since the first worlds and creatures began their existence, I have never felt emotion. I have simply existed to fulfill a purpose. My own reflection on my purpose has risen with the intelligence of the creatures; these reflections culminating in a single event. I have finally felt that which causes the creatures to embrace me.
I have finally felt pain.
This event was a strange thing; I have observed the ending of life by the hands of oneself, by another, and even by my own, but this feeling has never been present. Others such as my growing hate have been, but none such as this. I was able to understand how these creatures think simply by defying my very nature.
As I stood behind one of the creatures, a young woman just beginning her life, I observed. I observed her as she wept, questioning within myself why she did so.
I listened to her heart.
I listened as many thoughts, emotions, and experiences rushed by. The prevalent thought that rushed by was of me. I was at the forefront of her mind, creeping outwards throughout her being. I was to give her final embrace through the kiss of a blade. I was confused at this thought, seeing as the girl had lived a good life in the small time she had existed. She had felt the trifles of joy, love, embarrassment and pain. As I listened more closely the pain became more and more relevant, competing with thoughts of me for attention. The pain was intertwined with thoughts of her loved ones, those she had lost and the spite of other creatures.
I watched as she held a small blade to her wrist, seeing the many silver lines marring her arms which symbolized other times leading up to this. She drew the blade across lightly at first, not even breaking the skin. A single tear fell from her cheek onto the blade, it’s singular beauty reaching out to me as if it was the first drop of rain onto a parched landscape. With the practiced hand of experience, she drew the blade across again, even more tears spewing forth with determination. A thin red line appeared after the blade, slowly welling forth from her flesh. As I watched this line grow I began to contemplate why I only observed.
I should end her life.
It would be best to guide the blade deeper, severing her life blood permanently from her body and carrying her away. I reached forward and grasped her hand, having her release the blade. Her tears rushed with a fervor, washing the thin line left by the blade. For the first time I did not want one of the creatures to come with me. As I stood there listening to the thoughts of this creature, I realized that some humans were not wicked enough to come with me. This creature, who had spent the entire sixteen years of her life expressing her love and assistance towards every creature she came into contact with was truly good. I did not want to end her touch on humanity for if I did my hatefulness would only grow. If I allowed her to live she, might just be able to touch enough of these creatures who caused her pain to change my opinion of them. She could make them truly worthy of their lives.
I closed my palms over her defiled skin and held her to my being. I rocked her into a steady slumber and as she slept her purity was shown. I whispered into her ear my findings and left her. I felt the emotion one final time as I left, hoping but not knowing whether she would believe me. I did not want to leave this girl but did not want to take her away from the creatures. I finally came to my decision as I left. A small smile spread across her face with my leaving as I took a part of her. I took her pain. This separation within her was achieved solely through my words.
Your heart will change the world.
