I'm Sorry

The problem with having thin walls is that you can hear everything that goes on in the next room over. Which was why, much to my annoyance, I was still awake at two o'clock in the morning. Instead of sleeping, I was curled in a ball, my knees to my chest and my palms clamped tightly over my ears. An attempt to block out the muffled shouts coming from the living room. Each word was like a hammer on my wall. Pound. Pound. Pound. My bedroom door creaked open a fraction, letting in a sliver of light that threw shadows across my walls.

"Sky?"

The voice was barely a whisper. A little wobbly and squeaky. My little sister.

"Come here, Lara," I said softly.

I could just make out her silhouette as she tottered over to my bed beside the window. Her long hair was splayed across her face and some of the shorter bits were sticking out the sides. I lifted back my bed covers so that she could hop in but she grabbed my hand, hauling me out of bed.

"No. I want to spy on them."

I nodded and rubbed my eyes with my free hand. I didn't want them to fight anymore, I wanted it to stop. I wanted everything to go back to how it was. We tiptoed down the hallway. Not that they would hear anything. A herd of elephants could march right past our house and they wouldn't notice. There was a loud smash as something shattered on the hardwood floors and I flinched, sucking in a breath. I wanted nothing more than to retreat back to my bed with Lara. But I didn't. I wish I had. I sat down cross-legged beside the doorway to the living room, poking my head around the corner and pulling Lara into my lap. I pressed a finger to my lips. She nodded.

My eyes found the broken shards on the floor by Daddy's feet. Tears pricked my eyes as I realised what it was. It was the plate I had painted for Mummy's birthday two years ago. My eyes travelled upwards to see Mummy's face. I flinched again, tightening my arms around Lara as a loud strangled sob escaped her lips. It was so raw and grating, pain dripping from her cries like blood from a gash. Daddy didn't even blink an eye. His face remained emotionless. I had never seen him so scary and robotic.

"Do you ever think about anyone but yourself?" Mummy hissed. Her dark brown hair was knotted on top of her head in a messy bun and she stood several heads shorter than Daddy. She looked so small and weak next to him.

Daddy didn't answer.

"I thought so," Mummy spat. "Get out."

Daddy bent down to pick up the suitcase at his feet and walked toward the front door. I watched his chest rise and fall rapidly with each breath. My eyes never left him as I watched him approach the door. His exit out of our lives. Do something! My mind screamed. But I sat frozen, eyes wide, not breathing. He promised he would never leave. I swallowed hard as I recalled the promise he made me years ago. He pinky promised and pinky promises could never be broken. My heart twisted painfully over and over again. I wanted to cry but I couldn't. Not in front of Lara.

"Sky, where's Daddy going?" Lara whimpered.

"I don't know, Lara," I whispered. "He promised he'd never leave."

My eyes were still fixed on Daddy's back. His hand rested on the door handle but before he opened it, he turned around. And immediately found my eyes. I stared straight through him, unbelieving that he could leave like this. Without even saying goodbye. My watery eyes met with his stone cold blue ones. A flicker of emotion crossed his face and he mouthed two words before he walked out the door, slamming it shut behind him.

"I'm sorry."

I'm sorry. The last thing he said. Not good enough. He promised. The slamming door echoed in my mind. My heart fell to the floor in pieces like Mummy's plate.

I'm sorry.