Cheech and Chong Never Had This Problem

Mac and Gordy had been smoking marijuana since the age of thirteen. It was their favorite thing to do in the world besides chasing girls. They couldn't wait until the three o'clock dismissal so they could go to their little corner of the woods behind the school. Mac would bring the bowl, and Gordy supplied the pot. Then, unseen by anybody, they would fire the bowl up and pass it back and forth. After two hits, the THC would hit them, and then began that magical ride: the numbness, the lightheadedness, the extreme hunger, and the uncontrollable giggling. They would often lie there, laughing at the most mundane things. Then, once they could laugh no more, Gordy would reach into his backpack and extract a bag of popcorn or Doritos and munch out. Mac always had two bottles of Coca-Cola in his bag to combat the cottonmouth.

Once they had eaten and drank their fill, the two would proceed to their homes and try to hide the fact they were stoned from their parents. This usually worked out fairly well; they were so used to it they knew how to hide it from their families. Usually when Gordy was out driving around, he would meet up with his cousin Timmy, who would give him a bag for fifty dollars. After school the next day, he would meet up with Mac and go up into the woods. Puff, pass, repeat.

One afternoon, during one of these sessions, Mac and Gordy were startled by the sudden appearance of a man in a green tie-die shirt and camouflage pants. With his attire, he could have been standing amongst the trees the whole time and they just hadn't noticed.

"Whoa, who are you?" said Gordy.

"My name is Charlie. I've been watching you boys for many a month now," the man replied.

"Are you a cop?" asked Mac in a slurred voice.

"Nah man. I happen to have some good shit here with me, and I wouldn't mind sharing some," said Charlie.

And a bong appeared out of nowhere at Charlie's feet. Mac and Gordy were so wasted at this point that they didn't even question the bong's sudden appearance. They didn't even question that a strange man who they didn't know from a hole in the wall just offered them a free buzz. The boys looked at the bong. It was made from glass and was blood red in color. They could not see the liquid inside. Even the cannabis in the bowl seemed red.

"Go on, try it," Charlie urged. Gordy scooped the bong off the ground and clicked his lighter. Mac put a hand on his arm.

"I don't know about this. I mean, we don't even know this guy," he cautioned.

"You worry too much man," said Gordy, as he lit the bowl. He inhaled sharply, making the liquid inside bubble. Not being able to see inside it, he had to guess when the bong was full with smoke. He pulled out the stopper and inhaled.

It was pure bliss. Gordy felt as though his feet had left the ground. He was flying high above the treetops, with nothing but the earth below him and the endless sky above him. "Holy shit, Mac, you have to try this!" he exclaimed. He handed the bong and his lighter to his friend.

Mac lit the bong and inhaled, then pulled out the stopper and inhaled again. He was floating in a vast sea, far away from land and his troubles. "Sweet crap this is amazing!" he cried. He made to pass the bong back to Gordy when he realized it was no longer in his hand. His friend's hand was empty as well. Mac turned to Charlie and asked, "Hey man, where the b-" but Charlie was no longer there.

"Yo, man, where you at?" Gordy called. No answer.

"This is fucking bullshit," Mac snarled. "Give us a hit then disappear. What a wank."

"Ah, who cares, I think one was enough. That shit will have me flying for hours. Come on, we better get home,'' said Gordy.

They hastily returned home. Gordy's mother was not home yet, and he had to get there before she realized he hadn't been there. He was supposed come straight home after school. Mac had to watch his little sister, Meghan while his folks were out.