Umbran Lovers

The Worst Birthday Morning, in my Wretched Existence

////Shadow's POV

Setting: A random apartment complex, near downtown Buffalo, New York; 8:20am

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My name is Shadow the Hedgehog...and i think i'm in hell. In fact, my situation is so exhaustively bad, that i think calling my life a living hell, is a sheer understatement. Then again, who could blame me? The answer is this: I don't know and...i don't care. All i can say to you, is be glad that you are not me. Be extremely glad that you are not me. On the contrary, If it weren't for my friend, Claire Farron, keeping me sane, i would have shot myself brainless, by day 3. To think that i actually didn't have a choice, in terms of living here. Why you ask? Well, i'll get to that, soon enough. If you are patient enough to sit through my ramblings, then i say to you, congratulations...and welcome to hell! You can forget about the buffet.

Today, however, marks what is supposed to be one of my better days in my life. The anniversary of the day that i was born. My loyal fans know all too well, that it was a dark time in my life, in it's beginning, but i'd rather not bore you with the details. Anyways, i currently live in the surprisingly vibrant city of Buffalo, New York. Much to my surprise, i'm surrounded by women most of the time. I wouldn't mind that fact, if it weren't for the instance that the majority of women that i spend my time with on a daily basis, are completely dysfunctional. Take for example, my roommates. One is a humanoid emotion, who cares way too much about her apperance, and her exposure to microorganisms ever day, like the rest of us. The other is a provocative British witch, who is too playful and carefree with her sexuality, for her own damn good. Also, she cares way too much about her apperance...

The germaphobic woman is named Disgust, while the provocative magic amazon woman is named Cereza. People mainly refer to her as "Bayonetta", but i prefer not to use nicknames. They are the banes of my existance anyway, so if i were to use nicknames, in an alternate universe, i would refer to them as just that: "The banes of my existance." In fact, one of the plethora of things i cannot stand about them is their fetish for waking me up, when i don't prefer it. For example...

"Happy Birthday, Shadow!!!!" said Disgust and Cereza, in their usual annoying tones. Don't get me wrong, i accept the fact that they care. In fact, i appreciate that very much. Doesn't change the fact that they're annoying as all hell. 

"Grrr...." I growl, as i'm in a very cranky mood. "Leave me be...both of you!"

"Uhh...no, genius" Disgust retorts, not paying attention to the fact that i'm pissed off. "It's your birthday, roomie. We have the entire day planned for you, so you need to get up, and get ready!"

"Sure...in about a half hour" I retort sarcastically. 

"Fat chance, roomie. Like i care about your sleep pattern today."

"You better start caring. I'm going back to sleep"

This is the part where i attempt to fall back asleep and Cereza makes an interruption of her very own, to prevent from doing so. The one day that i actually want to sleep in, for once, and i can't even have that. Once again, welcome to my hell.

"You're absolutely delusional!" Cereza remarks. Keep in mind, that she is a total smart alec. "Don't make us angry, Shadow the Hedgehog! You wouldn't like us when we're angry! We might get a bit...naughty."

"How erotic..." I say, once again in a sarcastic tone.

"Aww, what's the matter? Why so moody, Cheshire?"

"Stop calling me Cheshire! I'm not a damn cat!"

"Yes you are...And since it's your birthday...Would you like me to make you purr?"

At that point, I've had it. I was use to her sexual sarcasm, but today, i just didn't want to deal with it.  I got up immediately from my bed, and walked eruptly away from the Anarchy twins.

"That's it, i'm leaving!" I said, in peak of my annoyance.

"Oh, don't be like that, Shadow. I was only joshing with you. You know how i am."

"Hmph, whatever...i'm not in the mood for it today."

"Wait, Shadow?" Disgust shouts out of nowhere. "Where are you going?"

"I'm going outside." I replied. "I'd appreciate it if i was not bothered."

"Fine by me, roomie. Just be back soon, ok? Cereza and I, have a whole day planned for you, and your gonna go through it, whether you like it or not...Am i clear?"

I clenched my fist in anger...i then realized that they did care about my birthday. Since they were going through great length to show that they care, it would be unfair to them if i acted aggressive, like i usually do towards them. "Fine." I said very reluctantly. I didn't know what they had planned for me, but i'd rather clear my mind first and cool down, before i go with them. I exited the apartment, and made my way to the apartment of a very good friend of mine. Since we both live in the same apartment complex, i didn't have to go very far, especially since her door is right across from mine.

Her real name is Claire Farron, but she mainly goes by the allius, Lightning. Ever since she moved here, she was immediately welcoming to me, similar to how Disgust and Cereza were at the same time, when i first met them, except that Claire was actually sane. I know that i'm exaggerating, but i don't care. The fact of the matter is that, no matter what happens, i know that i can always count on her, if i need anything. Like Rouge and Omega, i genuinely consider her as a friend.

At least, when i go and spend time with her, i'll know that this morning will get somewhat better, at the very least. However, knowing my luck, anything can happen with me in this damn city. Regardless, i'll at least have some time to enjoy myself before the hellish festivites that my roommates have in store for me, commence. On a brighter note...at least i won't have the urge to shoot myself brainless, let alone spend my birthday by myself. It's a plus...i suppose.