Goodbye // Carl Grimes

Chapter Four

Warning: Chapter contains moderate use of foul language. Also this chapter is pretty crappy

Lain's POV

—A Week Later—

I've been avoiding Carl all week, and it's starting to take a toll on me. Not only do I feel guilty, and sick, but I feel miserable. Carl just has something about him that makes me so happy. And without that, I guess you could say I've been a little bit of a bitch.

I slam my notebook shut and chuck my pen across the room. I tugged at my hair in frustration, feeling the urge to scream, or punch something. Kill something. But since there are no walkers, I unfortunately can't do that right now. Unless I want to be hated by this group... to make myself clear, that is far from what I want.

I angrily stood up and slammed my door open. To come face to face with Rick, his arm was raised like he was about to knock.

"What do you want?" I hissed.

He opened his mouth to say something but I cut him off.

"Actually, I don't really care." I pushed passed him and trudged down the stairs.

"What's wrong with you?" Tara asked, as I opened the front door.

I ignored her and shut the door behind me, stuffing my hands in my jean pockets. I walked for what seemed like half an hour but was really probably three hours.

"Lain!" Deanna called.

I pretended not to hear her and started walking faster. I did not want to get another lecture on how important it is to show up for work and why I haven't been. Not to mention, how she gave me the job of operating the pantry, keeping track of what we need, and what everyone takes.

"Lain Matthew!" She yelled her voice laced with anger.

I spun on my heels to face her, glaring at her.

"I need to speak with you!"

"I'm listening," I said, annoyance clear in my voice.

She wrapped her sweater tighter around herself as she spoke, "You can't just skip out on your job, whether you see it or not, everyone in this community is needed to help keep it going. One thing gets out of hand, then something else does, than another thing does, and another, and another. Until everything falls apart. And I did not accept you to this group so you could just sit around and not do shit!"

I looked up at the sky to see rain starting to fall. I turned my attention back to Deanna and rolled my eyes.

"You made it perfectly fine without me here! Besides, I have more important things to do." I spat.

"Like what?"

"Keeping you, and everyone else here alive."

"How are you doing that?" She folds her arms across her chest. I couldn't tell if it was because she was cold, angry, or both.

"You wouldn't want to know."

"Yes, I would."

"Look! Deanna! I know you're the leader, but I can't tell you right now. Okay?"

"Fine, but I expect you to be at your job tomorrow morning." She spun around and stormed towards her house.

By now the rain was falling down hard, and I was drenched. The sun was setting, so I decided to go home. When I got there, practically everyone from Carl's group was crammed in the living room, along with Enid, Mikey, Ron, and Denise of course.