Finally Falling

Chapter 2

I make it back to my dorm room at 9:37pm. I already know blair is going to have a total meltdown because I only have 23 minutes now to get dressed if we want to make it out of here at 10:00. I have no idea why she insists on me getting dressed up, it's not like I'm looking for anyone. She says it's time to move on, that Ryan would want to me to be happy. I can't.

It's been about 2 years now since he left us. Lucas had started the band freshman year during the summer when we were all just getting settled. While me, lucas, and blair had chosen to go Carlson University in California, Ry had chosen to go to school in Indiana, Cain University, on an academic scholarship. He wanted to be an engineer. Always wanted to design his own things, he loved technology. He was a complete geek, but we all loved him.

Me and lucas use to tease him about it, but he'd just reply back that one day he would make cars fly and and we all would be using his things and be super jealous. He never gave up, that's one of the things I loved about him. I tune back in to fingers snapping in my face, "Iris, IRIS, snap out of it, I need you to go put those clothes I found that's sitting on your bed on," blair says. I look towards my bed and see black leather pants, a white halter top, leather boots, and a leather jacket. "Jeez blair, I say, what did you do, rob the leather store."

"Haha, seriously, but no, the guys are playing at The Shed tonight and I heard Alec tell Carter that he was totally going, so therefore, you, need to put, that, on."
"Ah, come on blair, you now me and Alec are just friends."
"Well, she says, the way he was describing your 'Sweet Ass' and 'Hot Face' to my boyfriend and their friends, I'd say he wants to be more than just friends. Now go put it on we have less than fifteen minutes to make it out this door and be there before they go on and you know lucas will worry if you're not there."
"Okay, okay, I'm going, oh...where's lydia?"
"She is already there, something about securing our table and scouting out the competition."

I just turned and started getting dressed. Afterwards, I set my keys on my dresser. I knew I wasn't driving tonight. Carter, Blairs boyfriend, always drives us saying since I always go back to either their place or lucas's place it doesn't make sense to drive since I will already have a ride. To me, that didn't make sense. I think it was only because if I drove, blair would want to ride with me and if I were to leave she'd most likely go with me and he didn't want his time with blair to end. If you ask me, I think it's adorable and he is totally smitten with blair and I think she feels the same, but she's afraid. She never had a real relationship before, the love 'em and leave 'em type. With Carter he's been around more than any of them, a whole year, and if that's not enough she spends Fridays and Saturdays with him. None of us have classes on Friday , Saturday, or Sunday. The boys excuse is gigs, ours was studying, and to be honest, it was all a big coincidence.

There's a knock on the door, I open it and it's carter. "You girls 'bout ready to go, I know how anal you are about time."
"Were not 'anal' about time, as you put it, I say, BLAIR, is anal about time." We laugh.
"HEY! she says, I just like to get there early, there's nothing wrong with being on time." We leave and go to his car. The Shed is not to far from the campus, but it's not walking distance either. The car is silent on the ride there and I almost feel like I can breath again, like nothing is wrong. I know it's not though and it never will be again. Blair was a nice distraction, she always tries to distract me from my thoughts by bringing me to see the band, or just talking my ears off. I love her for that, but it never distracts me for long and pretty soon i feel empty again, afloat, thinking if Ryan were here I wouldn't feel this way. We stop and I see we're there. I get out and go inside to find lydia with only one thought on my mind, I want to get wasted tonight, just to forget and feel...something, and tomorrow I will go back to being empty.