In Another Life VII

Chapter 3

Harley stared at him, taken aback that she was finally seeing this man in the flesh. He was taller than she'd imagined, and his bright, green eyes were more sharp and piercing than they had seemed in his pictures. He was dressed in his usual purple suit, with a long purple overcoat and a purple hat, leaning casually on a cane with his face on it and smoking a cigarette. His bright eyes flicked from Harley to Henderson and back, and he smiled, one of his huge, beaming grins.

"Well, this is a surprise!" he said. "Not one but two new recruits! Must be my lucky night!"

He chuckled, shutting the door and approaching them, puffing on his cigarette. "Ladies first, I suppose. When Rocco told me a woman wanted to join my gang, I thought he was joking," he said, smiling at Harley. "But I'm glad to see he wasn't. This is the 21st century after all – why not have a dame in my ranks? What's your name, sweetheart?"

"Harley Quinn," replied Harley.

He grinned. "I like it," he said, blowing out a cloud of smoke. "And why do you wanna join my gang, Harley Quinn?"

"I've read a lot about ya," she replied, truthfully. "And you always seem to be having fun. And my life seemed so boring and empty by comparison – I was a doctor who just handled the same old problems day after day. And so I thought maybe if I joined your gang, I could be as happy as you always are."

He smiled at her. "You got any experience committing crimes, sweetheart?" he asked.

She shook her head. "No. But I'm willing to learn."

"That's fine – experience is nothing compared to enthusiasm," he chuckled. "And I like your enthusiasm, kiddo," he said, eyeing her up and down.

He nodded. "Ok, you're in. Now lemme see about you," he said, turning to Henderson and puffing on his cigarette. He studied him carefully, frowning. "You ain't ever killed anyone, have you?" he asked, quietly.

Henderson shook his head slowly. "I can always tell," muttered Joker. "I don't tend to let greenhorns join my gang...but I suppose there's a first time for everything. And it'll be rewarding watching your first time, when you'll finally become a man!" he chuckled, clapping him on the back. "Yeah, you're in too, Henshaw, is it?"

"Yes, sir," replied Henderson, nodding.

"Good, good. We'll get your bodycount up soon!" he chuckled. "Now, both of you just wait here and I'll be back with the contracts."

He left them, shutting the door, and Harley heard it lock. She was instantly alarmed. "It's a trap," she whispered.

"What?" demanded Henderson.

"It's a trap," she repeated, looking around the room. "If we get out alive, we get to join the gang. If we don't, it's no loss. Look," she said, pointing at the vent where a green gas began pouring into the room. "It's Joker toxin."

"That stuff that makes you laugh yourself to death?" said Henderson.

"That's the one," said Harley, trying not to panic as she looked around for some way out of the room. "Try to hold your breath and look for a way out. There's got to be one..."

Her eye fell on some boxes in the corner and she hurried over, throwing them open. They were filled with balloons. She unstacked the boxes to reveal a small gas canister which read Hydrogen on it, along with some matches and a knife. She could use the knife to try to fiddle the lock, she thought, or...try to light the door on fire with the matches, but the smoke might overpower her before the Joker toxin could...but then a better idea came to mind.

She grabbed a balloon, filling it full of hydrogen gas and then tying it, sticking the end underneath the door frame. "Step back," she warned Henderson, and then struck a match, throwing it at the balloon.

The door exploded off its hinges, and Harley and Henderson raced out of the room, coughing on the smoke and struggling to breathe non-toxic air. They raced down the corridor until they reached another room, slammed the door, and collapsed inside, coughing and gasping.

Then they heard the sound of party horns and looked up to see a bunch of confetti floating down from the ceiling. The Joker was seated on a purple, throne-like chair in front of them, while his henchmen wore party hats and applauded.

"Congratulations!" said Joker, holding out two pieces of paper to them and beaming. "You're in!"

"Is...being in your gang...always gonna be that exciting?" gasped Harley, glaring up at him as she took her contract.

"Aw, that was just a warm-up!" said Joker, waving his hand. "Things are gonna get much, much more exciting, I promise you, toots!"

"Great," muttered Harley, wondering for a moment if she hadn't made a mistake.

"Guys, I'd like to introduce you to the two newest members of our happy family – Ernie Henshaw and Harley Quinn!" said Joker, gesturing at them.

"Hey baby, like the outfit!" called one of the henchmen. "Take it off!"

Harley was about to respond caustically, when the Joker suddenly held up his hand. "Jerry, c'mere," he said, beckoning the man who had spoken.

He obeyed. "You wanna see Rocco take his clothes off?" asked Joker, gesturing to the heavyset henchman with his cane.

"Uh...no, sir," said Jerry, hastily.

"Good. Then don't ask Harley to do anything you wouldn't want the other boys to do," whispered Joker. "She's an equal member of the gang now, same as the rest of you, and she's going to be treated equally. Or guess what?" he asked, snapping his cane up suddenly so that it struck Jerry in his crotch. "You're gonna lose the ability to physically appreciate women, if you understand what I'm saying."

"Yes...boss," gasped Jerry, cupping his groin.

"Good. And that goes for the rest of you," he said, looking around sternly. "If Harley is bothered by any of you, I'll find out, and the results won't be pleasant. There's nothing in her contract that makes her any different than the rest of you, and this is all business, so let's keep it professional. Assuming she's happy to sign under those terms?" he asked, looking at Harley.

She nodded, scribbling down her signature and handing the contract back. He smiled. "Welcome to the Joker's gang, Harley Quinn," he said, holding out his hand.

She shook her head. "I'd rather not shake – joy buzzer," she said, pointing at his palm.

He grinned, chuckling. "Very good," he murmured, removing it. "We'll make something of you yet."