You Are My Light {Larry Stylinson}

Chapter 1: Darkness

A/N: My first chaptered fic I actually decided to publish, so yeah, I tried my best, but don’t judge me too bad. For any readers who aren’t native to the English education system, things like ‘A-levels’, ‘sixth form’ etc are basically finals. I tried to tackle any sensitive issues, e.g. depression, suicide etc with a bit of tact, and I hope everything was addressed with due sensitivity. I thank you a whole lot if you’re even reading this atm, please give this a read and comment what you thought? 

Bye, my little lovelies! c:

~ Love, Amber

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Louis thought his eyes had closed for the final time. His recollection of his last conscious moments were vague and blurry, yet he recalled himself filling up the bath.

And the line of painkillers on the window sill.

The next thing he was aware of was a tortured scream, then all turned dark. He was so afraid of the welcoming darkness, it seemed too comforting. He resisted it as best he could, but he felt it pressing down upon him like a ton weight.

Seconds, or minutes, or days, or years later, Louis couldn’t tell, the pressure on him began to ease. The cessation of the drowsiness and the blurriness of his thoughts made the true magnitude of what he tried to do hit him.

As his senses became more acute, and recovered from the drugs, he felt a soft bed underneath him, and the gentle, rhythmic beeping of a cardiac monitor. A gentle female voice sounded near his right ear.

“He should be showing signs of coming around soon. We pumped his stomach in time, we got most of the Paracetamol out of his system.”

As he became more and more aware of his thoughts, he came to the conclusion he was in a hospital and his ‘attempt’ had been unsuccessful. He couldn’t even think about would have happened if he had succeeded. He still so vividly recalled that towering wall of darkness that threatened to engulf him.

A quiet sobbing became quite apparent to Louis’ right, yet he did not have the strength to open his eyes yet. It sounded like his mother. Over all, the thing he could not cope with was seeing his own mother cry.

“Doctor!” His mother shouted, “He’s crying!”

Two pairs of footsteps approached the right side of Louis’ bed. A soft hand wiped moisture off the right side of his face.

”Hmm…” The female doctor mused, “He must be able to hear us-” She wasn’t able to complete her sentence. Louis felt a body clutch itself to his own.

“Oh baby, baby, baby. My little Lou I nearly lost you.” His mother sobbed into his chest, “I love you so much, please, just open your eyes and come back to me.” She begged.

Louis’ face contorted slightly, this was emotional torture for him. When he had attempted to kill himself he never truly thought out the consequences for his actions, he only attempted to escape the emotional hell he was experiencing everyday.

’Mum.’ He thought, feeling the weight of the painkillers lift off him almost all at once. He tried with all his might to open his eyes, but only made them flutter.

“My baby Lou, come on honey.” His mother begged. Within the next few moments one of Louis’ eyes opened. Pale blue stared into pale blue. His lips moved but his mother silenced him,

“Hush Boo you need to rest.”

Now Louis could see again, he looked at the mess his mother had become. Her hair was wild, and her eyes were wild and puffy. His lips trembled.