Heartbreak

Heartbreak Chapter 1

Heart Break

- One of the hardest things to in life, is letting go of what you thought was real.

Heart break is something I've always know.  It's deeply embedded in my soul. It's a curse , that constantly eats on my life constantly , an it catches me every time. My first heart break believe it or not happened the day I was conceived. Even after all these year I don't under stand how my mom couldn't see that my dad never loved her and never would . Shit , I wonder why my grandma raised my mother to be so blinded by love . My mom and dad meet their freshman yeah of high school. My mom had come from a High-class family . She never missed a meal , had the best that money could buy. All Courtesy Of My Grandfather . My grandparents are Jamaican so natural my dad grew up being treated like royalty and women had no opinion . In his mind women should bow down and submit to their husbands. Soo I guess that's why my mother let my father push her to suicide. 

    I Can't remember one time when My mom wasn't high , can't remember dad being home much either . Anytime My dad would come home from his "business trips " mom would suddenly get clean and be the perfect mother and wife. As long as mom did everything EXACTLY perfect we would be the perfect family. Then eventually he'd miss his other life and point out the smallest shit that was done wrong or out of place and be abuse her verbally , physically, Emotionally .  After their screaming match She'd be unconscious in a pool of blood he would leave and go with his mistress .  I'd clean her up as much as I could, (it got better over the years) and drag her to bed . My mother would wake up in the morning and  just continue getting high until she passed out at night  . Eventually daddy stop coming and mommy stopped being mommy. 

      Most people assumed my mother was still an addicted to drugs when she killed her self. One day something in her just snapped and she wanted better for us . She was the perfect mommy again. Everything was perfect until we got word that my father a died . He overdosed on the same drugs she used to be addicted to.  He had tired to find us  , but we never forgave him for leaving us . I like to think he overdosed because he knew we never forgave him . He Broke My Heart , Before Another Man Could Get The Chance . That' Can't Be Forgiven . Well I can't , let me not speak for Queen . She must of forgave him , she killed her self three year.  I always wounded why she left me . But as I got older I Realized that she left me so they could finally be who they were meant to be.