Color

Chapter #5 Lead

Was it her? I thought back to our encounter. We had touched skin to skin when our heads connected but my eyes had been shut tight, even if she had given me love colors, I wouldn't have known. The more I thought about it the more I imagined I had seen a flash of color out of the corner of my eye the moment before instinct had taken over and my eyes had closed.

I dropped my backpack off at a desk near the front. Then glancing again at my schedule, I realized it was lunchtime. I wandered towards the cafeteria in a trancelike state. As I passed by Mr. Rhoad's room towards the drifting smell of school food I looked in and saw a flash of her. Desperately, my mind clutched to the idea that yes, there had been something there, something so brief, so fleeting, my eyes couldn't have processed it in time. Was the love of my life just down the dim, gray hallway in the chemistry lab right now? Maybe she was sitting through the same speech about pigmentum-amor that Mr. Rhoad had given us, maybe she had the same flash of colors when she bumped into me before homeroom, and just a few minutes ago in the chem lab doorway! Could I be so lucky as for her to be searching for me just as desperately as I her? Logic reasoned no, but my racing heart couldn't resist the flood of possibilities, no matter how infinitesimally unlikely they were.

I shook myself from this line of thinking. I wasn't even sure that she was the one who'd made me see colors. The only evidence was familiar eyes and a more likely than not imagined glimpse of something that actually wasn't gray out of the corner of my eye an instant before headbutting someone.

With a frustrated sigh, I remembered that I had left my lunch money in my backpack, all the way back in Mr. Smith's room. Turning abruptly into the stream of students earned me a few under the breath comments. Ignoring these, I pushed on through them until I made it back to the 1500 hallway. There she was, standing at the door of the chem lab, looking like she was just about to knock to get let back in. The girl with the jet black eyes.

"Hey, I'm really sorry for earlier. I didn't see you coming," I said, eager to get a moment with her to either confirm my hopes or doubts.

"It's fine really... you'd be surprised how often I do things like that. Bit klutzy..." she said softly. Her hand raised as if to knock again, thinking the conversation was over.

"Regardless, I should have been more careful. I'm Haiden by the way," I announced, realizing I might lose my opportunity if I didn't move quick. She took my proffered hand and shook it rather quickly and loosely, as if she were uncomfortable with formalities. The moment our hands touched I was flooded with disappointment. There was nothing, no color, no exhilarating sense of completeness, just the coolness of her clammy gray hand against mine.

"I'm Jennifer. Sorry again for headbutting you," she said daintily. Quickly, as if she feared the conversation might continue even longer, she rapped on the door and Mr. Rhoad let her in a few moments later.

I had already started down the hallway, emotionally deflated as I got to Mr. Smith's room. The doorknob wouldn't twist though, and I realized that the teacher must have locked it before he left for lunch. My stomach growled at me angrily, reminding me of my growing hunger. I slammed my fist against the immobile, solid gray wood of the door and rested my head against the skinny window through which I could barely make out the form of my backpack, tauntingly close with the money I needed for food, and the earbuds I needed to distract myself from my overwhelming thoughts.

I found a seat in a little alcove at the end of the hallway and laid out the best I could on the uncomfortable tile protrusion. Without really thinking, I began massaging my forehead, trying to ease the ache of the letdown away. It really had been a bit much to assume that someone was the love of my life just because I thought their eyes had looked familiar. Actually, most everybody's eyes looked just about the same, either black or different shades of gray. I had been stupid to let my eagerness to find the one person I was searching for raise my hopes so much.