Inferior Core

 

The wind is one violent mother fucker.

Just keeps slapping me, inching me forward, and demanding that I remember the task at hand.

 

Just put one foot in front of the other dumbass, it says. It sounded an awful lot like father.

I force my brain to send a damn message to the muscles in my legs that seem to frozen.  They’re shaking pretty violently though, so I guess I can’t complain. 

 

This is wrong, my mind says, you’re giving in. You’re being weak.

“My weakness is why I have to do this,” I say through clenched teeth.

Yeah, let the kid do it, rebuttals the wind.  He drives another gust through me.  This one is strong enough to send my torso forward and in direction to the ground.  My hands reach out just in time to catch myself.  I embrace the dancing grass within my trembling fingers.

I never had the chance to embrace a young lady and dance with her in my arms.

Now I never will.

 

You still can, my mind reminds me, just scoot back.

How about forward? Suggests the wind, adding another blustery shove to reel me onward. 

I let out a sharp cry.  A watery substance began to spring from my tear ducts.

 

The edge of the cliff wasn’t the most inviting.  It was the peace that awaited me.

No more screaming.  No more arguing.  No more violence.  Just silence.

This was what I needed.  This would help. 

‘We can solve all your problems,’ the waves thunderous crash against the harsh rocks reverberated up the cliff and into my ears, ‘just jump; swing yourself over the edge.  It’s not that hard.’

 

‘I can help,’ screeched the wind, his chuckles resonating through the tree’s leaves.  I felt a vicious jerk heaving me closer to the cliff’s edge.  

I closed my eyes, took a deep, shaky breath, and prepared myself.

 

My mind, in an attempt to prolong this horrid affair, dragged one foot forward and leads the other in the same route.  I was now in a sitting position.

‘Is that easier for you, dipshit? Go ahead now; do it.’  The wind’s persistence is apparent. 

With both arms behind me at a forty-five degree angle, I creep myself along the cliff’s edge until the middle of my thighs reached its peak. My breath caught in my throat, and my chest began to clench in suffocating pain.  I could taste the salty tears; they would be my last Earth-given feeling.

Don’t do this, begged my mind.

Leave this place you worthless piece of shit, barked the wind.

We’ll take care of you, soothed the waves below.

 

“Excuse me!” the heck?  I snapped my head in the way of my intrusion.

I try to focus my eyes on a solid living being; the darkness was upholding a barrier so thick I might as well be blind. A whistle pierced the trees surrounding me.  My head turned to the other side, what the hell was going on?