I'm so confused. My head is like a bucket of emotions that's reached its maximum capacity and fixin' to overflow.
It's so scary to find someone that makes you happy.
You start giving them all your attention because they're what makes you forget everything bad that's going on in your life.
They're the first person you want to talk to, just so you can start and end your day with a smile, and it all sounds great to finally have someone like that in your life when you've almost forgotten how that felt like, but it's scary to know how easily they could just leave and take that happiness away when they go.
I'm so use to people I thought would always be there for me, walking away without any warning or valid reason, which is why I decided awhile ago not to get attached to anyone, no matter how hard I desperately wanted to.
But I constantly find myself compromising now that Irlanda is in my life.
He's taken residence in my mind and honestly, after much fighting to push my feelings aside...I can't say I have a problem with him occupying it.
Even my coworker, Courtney, notices how silly I seem and how I smile a bit more at work.
She always comments on how cute I get when I start talking to her about him, but deep down, I honestly hate that because I've worked so hard to contend with the feelings of not having anyone worth "admirable" in the equation, and for the time being, I prided myself of not getting tied up in another "Teenage Crush" which would lead to another Heartbreak, since for the most part, I'm the one that gets hurt in the end while the significant son of a nutcracker moved on with someone else.
Perhaps, no one will truly come as close to understanding the way I choose to deal with my emotions, but the good news is that I don't expect them to either.
But I have a certain mindset for a reason and it's based solely to protect myself.
Nobody is going to volunteer to do so, so when the going gets tough, put on a cape and decide to be your own Superhero.
I'll go to sleep now, and await the moment when I can hear from Irlanda again *smiles*
YOU ARE READING
Confessions of a Peridot
Non-Fiction"Memoir is about handing over your life to someone and saying, this is what I went through, this is who I am, and maybe you can learn something from it." This is my journey My adventures My life These are my confessions
