Star Wars Rebels: All I See Is Black

Chapter 1: All I See?

Kanan's POV

You know what I see? Well, I use to see the bright and pretty colors. Mostly of Sabine's artwork. Like, the Phoenix bird with it's dancing colors of red and orange flames. Sabine's new style and beautiful explosion with colors flying across the skies. The pretty green eyes of Hera and, her warm smile to everyone. Chopper, running around messing with everyone, including me. Zeb, laughing along with us and his jokes...and mostly. My Padawan, Ezra. His shiny crystal blue eyes that glow when he's happy, when he has our backs.

What I see now...black. I hate black now. The only color I see, and can only. After the Battle of Malacor, I have never been the same...ever. I been...dead, silent to the galaxy. As if the world thought of me dead. I been in my room ever since we came back. Losing Ashoka, my sight...and...broken, we are.

Oh, how I wish to see once again. To see Hera with her funny sarcasm. To see Sabine with her new hair style and explosives. To see Zeb and Chopper chasing each other til no more. And finally...to see my Padawan who has hidden ever since he went to his room.

Barely walking out of the shadows. He hides in the dark room with no light. No one to speak with of words of healing. I wish to see his bright smile again, yet. I can't.

I now, sit quietly in my room, dreaming of what I wish for not to had happen. To wish for more things with good luck. To see with my eyes again. In my eyes, all you see is gray and white. Nothing else. In others, they see my eye color but...slowly turns into those two colors.

I pretend to see, sometimes. Yet, it doesn't work. I have tried so hard but, given up. I would only see black. That color. Never! I want it gone! I'm like a bat, lost in darkness and can't see.

It's hard to die this out. Only to know that it will forever remain in me until death...why not death now? My finale solution? No! I can't! Never die now but, when time stops me, yes. If today was my last day, I wish to see one more thing. My Crew. My wish if I die today, or tomorrow.

What gets me of Maul. Why couldn't I killed him?! He was gonna kill me, and Ashoka and keep Ezra to himself! Foolish me! He shall not go near my Padawan again!

Now my body aches in agony. Wait! Oh no! Ezra. Not again, not now. Everyday now, his guilt, pain and suffering grows more hurt in me. I can't do much but, I mostly try to send in waves to calm him down. Doesn't work.

Darn! I'm doing the best I can now. Nothing works for me. Guess...nothing does anymore. I'm losing myself with this...

Do you think your happy? Do your wounds heal?

What?

Do you feel hopeless and weak? Do you believe enough?

I'm losing it, madly. Some one...just end me...

You dream too much.

You, deep down your heart cries at night.

Believing that you will die without any help.

My head fell to my hands. Hope out, love gone, why me? I don't wanna suffer anymore. Just make it like this didn't happen.

Are you lost?

Are you hurt deep down?

Is your family happy? No, or course not.

Sadness in me again. No, not now. I'll cause such more pain to Ezra. No! Shaking badly, wishing to cry my eyes out but can't. I...do...feel...hopeless...

Battles leave scars, some we can't see.

Remember that, Kanan Jarrus.

....Battles leave scars, some we can't see? I get it!

What does that mean to you? I'll explain...

You can go into any battle, war and get something in return, bad thing. Getting scars isn't fun, it's a sign of remembering that moment when it happen. It can be bad, or not but, the scar will remain. My scar, is lost of sight. I can't see no more, not ever again. Lost, cannot be found. This scar I can see. My Crew, cannot. They can see certain scars, but not all. You will never expected for something to happen bad, unless it does... Battles leaves scars and we're meant to bleed...

So, no more pretty colors of Sabine's paintings, no more of seeing Hera, helping and being happy. No more seeing Chopper getting cranky and beeping at everyone. No more seeing Zeb, pranking on everyone and laughing...no more seeing Ezra, smiling being hyper and happy, training with him. Being by his side...

Everything is lost...gone and forgotten.

Just...let go...

There's nothing you can do

It's over...it's over

No more of what I can see. Nor do, try or even feel safe and happy about. No more of anything...just sorrow. For myself.

Like a star, they shine so bright but die at the end.

Black, black birds circle for your dead spirit.

Every mistake, fixed but this sacrifice.

Lost, hurt, broken in pieces.

Peace is at rest now, but...nothing else can change what happens. I'm a lost soul, in an abandoned room. No light, no tiny light to see my path. Just...dark, blackness. All I see now, and will.

No pretty green, purple, orange, pink, white, blue, red or shiny teal. Just...dark. Eyes gone forever. This Jedi Knight, has now lost his humanity and dignity. Screwed up, big.

You see pretty skies, flowers and people you love. To see in your eyes that you are not alone, never are that they see how beautiful they are. Paintings, pretty and amazed by the shape and design. Seeing, who and happy what they are looking at all and all the chaos is away, only what happens in front of them.

Not seeing what spoken, colors, pretty objects and none other. What I see? In my eyes?

What I all see? I tell you.
All I see, is black.

Just...Black....