You are ready to go.
You have the rope around your neck.
The camera is facing you.
You press the button.
The lights flash on the camera,
signaling the video is recording.
Before you Even get one breath out, you start to cry.
You take a deep breath and begin to speak.
You tell everybody you can think about how sorry you are.
You tell your mom and dad.
Your little sister, your best friend
You cry though the whole video and just as you kick the chair out from under you,
just as you feel your breath begin to quicken,
you turn off the camera with the click of a button.
You feel the last breath of air enter your lungs as your eyes bulge.
Your body struggles at first.
You can’t breathe!
You slowly, painfully, feel the life being sucked out of you
as you ask forgiveness from your family,
from God.
Your little sister comes running in the house an hour later.
She got you something.
She is so excited to show you it.
She yells your name trying to find you,
to show you this awesome toy she bought you with her first allowance!
Your mom and dad walk in after her, smiling at their beautiful 8 year old daughter.
They yell up the stairs that they are home, but you don’t answer.
Your sister is already running up the stairs, toy in hand,
to show you what she bought
She runs straight into your room,
your door was ajar.
SHe sees you, swaying in the air.
She screams at the top of her lungs.
“Bubby!! Bubby!! Wake up!! Please Bubby wake up!! I love you please you can’t leave!!”
She runs to you, hitting your legs, causing your body to swing even more.
She bursts into tears,
why would you do this to me?
How could you hurt me so bad?
She has all these thoughts running through her head.
At hearing her baby girl screaming, crying
Your mother runs up the stairs to see what happened.
She was prepared for the worse, but no matter what preparation you have,
You will never be prepared for what your mother saw.
She ran towards the sounds of Lily (your sister) crying.
She pushes open the door, and screams in complete and total agony.
“No! Please dear God no!”
She is screaming and crying at the sight in front of her.
Not to long after your mother, your father walks up to your room.
