We Are the Broken (WATB)

Things Change, People Change

I hope that he doesn't come up here, but I knew that if he was still the same person as he was 8 months ago then he will come up here and try and talk to me.

I have pushed everyone away. I know that and I accept that. tProblem is even if you want to push everyone away, there will always be someone who try's the break your walls. But the thing is you don't mind cause you actually want someone to show how much they care.

Knock, Knock Knock, Knock.

Our Knock, The knock we always used to let the other person know who it was. My bedroom door opened quickly and Asher entered, the door was shut as quickly as it was opened. No words were exchanged. Silence engulfed the room, neither one of us willing to speak.

Asher was seated on the end of my bed, me in my beanbag nook.

"What do you want?" I asked, my voice quiet but it held a hard tone.

"For you to talk to me," he replied, as he released a sigh.

"Fine, Hello Asher, would you mind letting yourself out of my room," I replied, sarcasm laced well into my words.

"Don't be like this Talie" he whispered.

Once again silence took over the room. I hadn't been called Talie in a long time, not since that day. Asher and Brook were the only ones who called me by that nickname, the only ones who were close enough to me.

*flashback*

"Hey Brook" I yelled

"Yeah?"

"What movie do you want to watch?" I asked her, still yelling even though we were only in rooms across the hallway.

"Good question, pitch perfect?" She responded as she walked back into the lounge room with a bowl of popcorn and two cans of Fanta.

Let me tell you that night was probably the best night I had with my sister, we were best friends. That night was the first time she called me Talie and that was also the night we shared many of our overly concealed secrets.

*end of flashback*

I didn't realise that I had zoned out until I saw Asher kneeling in front of me, one hand brushing away the tears that had escaped from my eyes.

"What are you doing?" I asked him.

"I don't care what you say, your still my best friend and I always did and still do hate seeing you cry," he told me, " I know lately things have been different, you with your family and me with mine. But that doesn't mean that we have to push away each other, I will always be there for you when you need me." He didnt allow me time to respond before he stood up and walked out of the room and out of the house.

~*~

I cleaned myself up, and headed back downstairs. Finn and dad were sitting in the lounge room watching some soccer match, I walked around to the back Door and out into the back yard where Noah was sat on the lawn star gazing.

"Hey," I say as I laid down on the grass next to my twin brother.

"I'm sorry" was the reply I received. "I'm sorry for the way I've been treating you the past months, I'm sorry for leaving you out and I'm sorry for not being there for you like I should've been,"

"Noah, it's not your fault. I pushed everyone away when I needed them the most. I lost a part of me when she died, but I still need to remember that she is still with me in my heart and that I still have you, Finn, Claire and dad," I ranted back to him.

Both of us knowing that we weren't going to get anywhere, as when we were younger we could never agree on anything as mum used to say, just agree to disagree and from there on it became an inside joke to Noah and myself.

"Let's just agree to disagree," he states, causing us both to erupt into laughter. But it wasn't a fake laugh it was a friendly, sibling laugh. It felt nice to be able to laugh freely and enjoy that moment.

"I wish it was always like this," I told Noah, soberly a sad tone slipping into my voice.

And not one second later all the light-heartedness that was floating around, had been sucked away and the harshness of reality had set in.

"I'm sorry," I said knowing that I was alway the cause of reality setting in at the worst possible times. When we were finally having a laugh and enjoying each other's company for once in about a year I have to go and ruin it by saying that.

"Look sis, I know you took it the hardest, and I get it, you two were really close, people actually believed you were twins with the way you two acted, but you need to talk to people and let them in. The worst thing that I noticed was that you stopped doing the things you loved." Noah told me, staring up at the stars not even glancing in my direction.

The tears came and I didn't stop them because he was right, everything I enjoyed reminded me of her and I couldn't bare to do them without her. Therefore I stopped doing everything I enjoyed from playing netball to singing and even photography.

Life for me had become a standstill after she left. My grades had become something that didn't matter and my whole life had taken a massive push to the back of my mind.

Major depression. Was what I had been diagnosed with, before her death I had the signs but the massive trigger was when she died. For a couple of months I seeked help but then I didn't care about myself anymore. All I did every day was sleep, I didn't attend school, I didn't eat.

Now it's there but it's not as bad. I'm still struggling at school but I'm back in my medication and now I'm really thinking about trying another psychologist as my first one, Lisa, I didn't get in with.

I feel the splatter of rain drops hitting my face and then notice the fact that the sky looked as though it was about to drench the whole country.

I quickly sit up and head into the house, peering up at the clock noticing that it was already nearing 8pm.

Sitting in the living room was fin, Noah, Claire and my dad. Everyone watched me as I entered the living room and took a seat. It took almost five minutes for the next words to come out of my mouth.

"I would like to try and see a psychologist, but not Lisa," I told them making it clear I disliked Lisa.

Everyone was a little shocked apart from Claire who was still invested in the tellietubbies That was Playing on the tv.

"Sure honey, whatever you want okay?, anything just to get you back," my dad said, whispering the last part mostly to himself.

With that I headed back to my room and pulled out my phone. Scrolling through my contacts I sent a messaged I never intended to send ever in my whole life.

To: Asher

..... I need my best friend back, I think we need to talk. Xx talie.

What can I say, people change.