Danasia's POV
I tilt my head up from Marcels chest so that I'm now staring at him. I know that he can see me staring but he wont acknowledge it. We're currently watching Forest Gump. Even though I love this movie, and Marcel knows this, I always have to argue with him before he puts it on.
After about a minute of looking at Marcel and not getting a response, I clear my throat to get his attention. His eyes flicker from the television to me a few times before completely focusing on me. He raises his eyebrows as a signal for me to speak.
"So...did you mean what you said earlier?" I question.
His face looks a little puzzled. He probably has no idea what I'm talking about though. I don't know why. It's not like we embark in conversation like normal couples do. It's like we're only with each other to say we are. If we're not just laying around like this, we're either fighting or ignoring each other.
"About me being your girlfriend?" I continue on. He takes a deep breath and sits up with his back against the armrest. My body which has already been resting on his, moves with him and I'm now straddling him. His arms slink around my waist. This catches me off guard and my muscles in response tense up. He never does his unless he's in a good mood. I guess he notices because he starts to retreat but my hands catch his wrist.
"Does it really matter Danasia" he huffs.
"Well yeah. It matters to me. We've never made it official"
"So your telling me, that all this time you though we were just friends with benefits or something." His face was serious.
Wait, what! What is he talking about friends with benefits. Friends? Maybe. On a good day. He must have lost it.
"WHAT! Wait a minute. Friends? Us? Benefits? With? Huh?" I caught a dizzy spell and cupped my head in my hands. This was a load of malarkey. Where in our relationship did we have benefits. Our lips have never even touched before. The most I've ever gotten from him was a kiss on top of my head when I flew to Florida for my uncles funeral. He didn't even bother to ask how I was doing.
"You know you should be lucky I'm not one of those guys who's always trying to get in your pants." What was he talking about? I hadn't even said anything. "Yeah you did. You just told said, and I quote 'Where in our relationship did we have benefits. Our lips have never even touched before.'" He said in a very poor impression of my voice. Oops I guess I was talking out loud. "Yeah, I guess you were." He seemed a bit annoyed now. Nothing out of the ordinary.
I scoffed "Well I'm not lying. We're barley even friends. When we talk it's about stupid shit like gas prices or if it rained last night." My volume increased. "If I'm being honest here, I DON'T GIVE A RATS ASS ABOUT IF IT RAINED THE NIGHT BEFORE!!! AND IF WE'RE NOT TALKING BULLSHIT, WE'RE FIGHTING."
He just stayed in his position and stared blankly at me. He knows how much I hate that. Finally he spoke, but it wasn't in his usual annoyed tone. No, it was sprinkled with bitterness. "How would I have time to be all you need me to be if you keep breathing down my neck every five minutes?" He's now taken his hands completely of me and was now gripping his hair as if he were going to rip it to shreds. "Sometimes I don't even know why I bother. All you do is complain and piss me off. Your just insane and crazy. YOUR SO ANNOYING!!!" I couldn't believe what he just said to me. I could feel the knot tie in my throat and my eyes lace with tears.
I shoved his chest and climbed off of him racing to our room. Before I shut the door, as a single tear left my eye, I simply whispered, "Why am I still with you? All you do is give me attitude. The only time your nice to me is when you wanna be. Your so fickle"
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Well this was just great. Just another night sleeping in the same bed with Marcel, but still feeling lonelier than before. This is the third time this week I've went to bed heartbroken and it's only Thursday. And I bet even though we just had a falling out, we'll still be together in the morning. Whether we like it or not.
Why am I doing this to myself.
