im (not) okay

four.loves

There used to be a boy with slick black hair and a bad attitude. I liked that boy, he made me careless. So careless I fell in love with a foolish grin.

We were gay, in both ways.

He had father issues and homophobic problem, we were perfect.

We planned coming out to each other's parents, even if they kicked us out. We fucking loved each other, not just the thought. Mum was okay, I knew she was slightly bothered but she except us both.

Christopher's father beat him.

That was the first night I exhibited that. His father was a monster even sober.

I knew Christopher was hurting. I was so selfish, I didn't leave him alone.

I wasn't there when he'd done it.

But I was there right in the end. I heard the yelling and then the gunshot that fired.

By the time the second one fired I was flying through the living room door.

My legs were sloppy up the stairs but I found them, I found them both.

It was obvious who killed who.

I drove the one I loved to kill his homophobic father and himself.