Dreams (Phan Fanfiction)

Part 1 : It all began

"Hello internet" Phil's voice broke through the walls. I was sitting in the sofa, as casual surrounded by candy wrappers. The overheated bottom of my laptop literally have put me on fire. That was just another reason to get up and get busy. I still had a lot of editing to do. I wanted to do everything, but I was tired and very dreamy. I started to search for the "Phan" tag on tumblr. I know act like I'm disgussed by that segment of the internet, but that's only when Phil's around...
Pictures came up and I.. just could not deal with the physical pain coming from the inside of my chest. What if I had him? Is this all just happening in my head? I turned away from the screen and cuddled up with a pillow. As l closed my eyes everything came to life: it was an ideal wonderland and I was the Alice of it. We were in London- how surprising. I blaimed my creativity on that. Everything was blurry, some kind of a powder was flying around, lights were fading. Everything was blurry, but his face. His sweet cheeks. He looked at me in a unusual, sexy way.
"Dan are you okay?"
"Y-yes. Where are we?"
"What do you mean? We're at Saint James Park, silly."
He held his hand towards me. It wasn't the casual manly handholding that I was used to. "You look really cute in this lighting. Very cute." -Phil whispered.
It was strange. We never really got to complimenting eachother like that.
"Here's the moment -l thought to myself.
I was hardly focusing on the details, I wanted to remember everything. The next thing saw was him leaning extremely close to me. He was very nervous, he was trying to keep down the anxiety. Is this reality or just dreams? It was too perfect to be real. This kind of things never happen to me. Our lips connected. His fringe was tickling my forehead lightly. He rested his right hand on my shoulder. He was so soft. I never thought this would actually happen. Phil leaned back and spoke some words I did not understand.
"Wha-what did you say?" I breathed out, getting out from the euphoria.
"Wake up! Wake up!"
All was gone. I hardly opened my eyes. His figure was over my bed
"Wake up. -he screamed- "what do you think?" I was disturbed by the quick change of situations.
"What do I think of what?"
He pulled up his phone and shuffed the screen in my face.
" I catched a charzord in the garden"
I went menthal. I was so mad.
" Phil it's 6 o'clock. And this is my room for God seake!"
His face whent white as he never saw me like this. My hand was still pointing at the door even though I did not mean any of this. He almost started crying. Just like a toddler who got told off. I felt so sorry for him. He just wanted to impress me.
Phil left. Quickly, disturbed.
I took the time to look back at all that happened through the night. It was only a dream...At least finally know.
I had to do something, I felt so much guilt.
He was in the kitchen, eating, facing the cabinets. He must realised l entered the room, because he fastly walked away
"I won't let this shit end like this."
I sat next to him on the stairs. He seemed okay about it.
We did not say a word for a few seconds. I was thinking about what I should say. We were so close. Should I just tell him? No. This morning was absurd enough. One at a time.
"Phil I'm so sorry. I swear it's just that..
He enturapted me:
"Shussh. I don't care."
"Please don't act like that."
We made eye contact for a split second
"I had a very nice dream. And your mornin' call was a bit " - I was thinking, he was waiting for the word I will use.
"Rough."
Phil seemed to understand it and  agree although he did not say a thing. He just hugged me. It would have lasted longer, but I quited it. I had to. I did not even understand myself, not our relationship at this point.