normal | m. yoongi

8

"Yoongi?"

The other side was sickly silent, my anxiety and worry washing over me. I knocked on the door repeatedley, to nothing in return on the other side. "Yoongi?" My voice was now weak, the fear was heard as my voice cracked.

"I...I'm fine." The frail male croaked out, not opening the door. But I wasn't reassurred, it made me worry more and more and the silent grew after that. My knocks got more louder and frantic as I heard sniffles and banging on the mirror, I yelled for him to open to the door. Thinking quickly, I rushed to the lobby on the first floor. "I need a key to the bathroom in room 213 on the second floor!"

The concierge gave me a weird look, "Name?"

"Min Yoongi." I rushed in a hurry, but she took her time getting a key. But finally, she handed it to me, still looking at me oddly. I didn't take any time to get back up to his room, running in and opening the bathroom door. The door opened slowly, revealing a blonde male laying on the tile floor. He had tear stained cheeks that broke my heart as his eyes stared to the space in front of him.

I gulped at the sight, my own tears not holding back. "O-Oppa." My voice cracked  weakly as I went to his side, shaking him lightly. His dark orbs meant my light ones, his features showing no emotion. "Why am I so weak?" Yoongi's voice was low, fragile, and yet held so much emotion that he didn't show.

I shook my head as I held onto him. "W-why would you say that?" I said in a hushed tone, holding him tightly to me.

"I...I'm never as good as I should be...I'm not as talented as the others in Bangtan. Hell, I can't even feel comfortable talking to our fans that do so much for us. I can't finish my damn mixtape and they're all waiting for it, what kind of idol am I? What kind of weak idol would pass out on stage in front of his whole fan base? Why-" "Yoongi stop." I sternly said, my tears staining my cheeks as they dried, my sadness still weighing down my heart.

He closed his mouth, looking up at me, wanting to talk more and more of what he thinks he is. "I'm a monster Rory." Yoongi finished, motioning to himself and the destroyed space around us. Shaking my head, I ran my fingers through his blonde locks, keeping strong inside when I wanted to melt.

"Min Yoongi. How can you say these types of things about yourself?-" "Because they're simply true. I hid myself to ARMYs with the whole 'I don't give a fuck' lazy boy attitude when really I do give a fuck about every damn thing that happens to me. I give too many fucks, I lie to them and say I'm alright, I lie and say I'm staying healthy when we all for damn sure I haven't eaten in days." He took a breath, but I let him continue, he needed to get this off his chest, this all had to be let out to make it disappear.

"And my parents..." This time he took a deep breath, I knew this was always a touchy subject for him and he was telling me about it. "...my parents always told me they didn't know me...they didn't know their own shitty son who left them to be an even shittier rapper who can't do anything right. They won't be proud, they never were. I let them down, I've let so many people down. I can't finish my songs I write that are shit anyways, never as good as other producers. I'm a piece of shit monster, that's all I'll ever be."

I stayed silent, not sure on what exactly to say now that he let everything out that was going on through his mind. Last night it was just me questioning his ways but now that he gave an answer, I was speechless. The way he talked so negatively about himself created this heavy feeling in my chest, like I couldn't breathe.

The only thing I could do was to comfort him and listen. He just needed someone that would listen to him. I sat on the ground, against the wall as I placed his head on my lap and started to pet his hair gently. His eyes were closed as I looked down at him, a few tears dropping down both of our cheeks.

"I-I just...I feel like I don't deserve this life sometimes..." Yoongi croaked out hoarsely, afraid to admit what he's been thinking this whole time. The statement seemed to hit a spot in my heart that made me cry quietly. Yoongi had depression, social anxiety, and self hatred.

He hid it so well, a facade that always seemed to have been displayed for everyone, to make everyone happy. But on the inside, laid an insecure boy who would do anything for anyone. And anything may have worked him to his mental breakdown, here in this bathroom.

"Y-Yoongi...I wish you knew how proud I and ARMYs and Bangtan and BigHit are of you." I half whispered, my fingers tucking strands of his hair behind his hair. "But do you really mean that? I'm still a piece of shit."

I shook my head, chuckling dryly. "You're far from that, you're a hard worker, hell, you'd do absolutely anything to make anyone happy. But I need you to be happy, happy with yourself and where you are. Over anything, you deserve happiness, I hate seeing you like this."

Silence fell over Yoongi, his features not giving me any sign of how he felt. So I spoke up again, "I meant what I said last night...I really love you. Everything about you. So who cares that your parents don't think you're a genius? The rest of South Korea definitely thinks so, I think you're the most handsome, caring, smart, hardworking person I've ever met." I gave him a small smile as he opened his eyes to look at me.

"And I can't exactly say that this isn't normal for a person to go through. I've felt down about myself too many times to count. Like how did I get to be the girlfriend of Min Yoongi? Out of all the beautiful girls out there why me?" I joked, making Yoongi let out a couple of chuckles. "I always compare myself to other girls, especially the ones that always stare at my amazing boyfriend at the cafe."

Smiling now, he interlaced our fingers, staring at them before me. "So don't think you're going through this alone minty head, I'll be here right with you, no matter what."

"No matter what?"

"Yep. Even if you decide to break up with me, I won't leave you alone." I popped cheerfully even with my tear stained cheek, making him laugh. That laugh was all I needed to be reassured I can help him. "Alright babe, I trust you." He smiled up toward me, his eyes crinkling with the gummy smile he showed.

"Good, because you're stuck with me now." I grinned back, pecking his lips softly and returning my one hand to his hair, something I found to be calming to him. "Then please don't leave me here."

"I won't leave you."

"I mean it though, I don't want you to leave me on this tour alone. I don't want you to be in Korea alone."

I looked down at him, surprised at his request, but my face softened. "We'll talk to your manager tomorrow, how's that?" He nodded slowly, closing his eyes again.

"I'll always need my nightlight."

And that's how we spent the rest of the night together, eventually falling asleep in that position.

---
I still can't get over how 'The Last' made me felt. Not only did I cry because it was Yoongi but I related to some of the things he said.