Insanity

"What is the meaning of complete insanity?" Professor Colloway asks. "This is what I want you to focus on this 3 day weekend. Some would consider a person who goes around killing the innocent, someone who is confined to a pyche ward, or maybe even a mother who doesn't take care of her child properly. I want a 5'000 word esay on your meaning and belief of what insanity is. You are dismissed."
I gather my notes and throw them into my back pack as fast as I can.
I've been taking the night classes at the community college for a year now. I work two part time jobs during the day just to support myself, pay my morgage and to afford these classes. God even the thought of writing a Paper that big makes my headache worse, and of course it's assigned in the weekend I'm supposed to work a double shift at the mall, to pull in some extra money I really need.
I live fairly close to the school, walking distants,but still with a headache this bad, half a mile feels like 20 miles. Even the buzzing of street lights above me feel like it's putting bullets through my head.
Thinking about all the things on my to-do list isn't helping either, I even forgot the damn prescription I needed to refill but what's another day without it I'm sure I'll be fine till tomorrow.
A car goes by and the noise of it nearly makes me fall to my knees from the sharp pain the noise causes in my skull. I start to see purple and blue around my vision and I fall down the last thing I see is the car stopping and a person getting out and heading my way, then everything goes black.
I wake up in a dark room, my head feels like someone bashed it into a brick wall until there was nothing else. I struggle trying to make out anything in the room but as my eyes adjust all I can see is faint outlines. I try to get up but my body is as sore as my head. Suddenly all the memories come flooding back. The walk home, the car, the person, they must have shot me with a tranquilizer or something oh my God that targeted me that saw I was struggling to even move right and they took advantage they took me where am I! I yell out who's here why did you do this. I start screaming at least I thought it was me but as I continued screaming I felt no burn in my lungs or scratching in my throat God what they have me must have really messed with my mind. I try to move and I feel a sharp sting on my forarm, my head feels light as fear over takes my body, once again the darkness claims me.
The dark prison almost seemed peaceful compared to the visions I had while the darkness was swallowing me. I see the terror of blood and suffering screams it was like a hell that I couldn't get out of. Everything was shadowed and blurry,but the scariest part of this unconscious hell was I loved it.
I wake up again but this time I see a light. My eyes adjust I see a short stair case that leads up to the light, I look around and I see a table covered in blood on the wall were these tools that were also covered in blood; saws,hammers,scalpels, every kind of tourture device used to slice and cut was on that wall.
I get up making sure not to scream, as to not alert the sicko who I'm sure was preparing to disect me. I run up the stairs as my body protests and I drop to my knees and dig my hands into the soft soil I look up and relize I'm surrounded by shallow graves. And barley ten feet away there is a body covered by a sheet. I crawl to the body and find a hand under the sheet, praying it's not to late I check there pulse. There is none the hand and arm are pale as paper and there was fleashand blood under the nails, at least they fought as hard as they could.
Then I do the one thing I will regret for the rest of my life, I peel the sheet back,only to expose a mangled corpse. You can't even tell if the person was male or female the chest is ripped out and the heart is gone. The face was cut off and the eyes were dug out. I fall back and throw up everything thats ever been in my stomach. I get up and run as fast as I can, determined not to become like the kidnappers last victim. Suprisingly as I run through the woods I come out right behind my house. Oh my God the sick monster must have been stalking me this whole time, to think of how many people must have been murdered less than a mile away was heart wrenching. I run to my door and grab the spare key under the rock. I hurry to the phone and dial 911. The phone is ringing and I run and lock myself in the bathroom. I look at myself In the full length mirrior, my hair is a mess I have dirt all over me and blood on my clothes, I think to myself the murder must have splashed some of the blood on me while he was butchering that poor being, then my eyes fall to my arm where there are claw marks all over them like someone had been fighting me.
The world freezes "Hello 911 what is your emergency?" The operator answers. I can't move my voice won't work "Hello, Hello 911 what is your emergency?" Finally I answer her "I'm so sorry my little brother was playing with the phone and pressed emergency it won't happen again, have a nice day"
I hang up and sit down on the floor. It can't be I couldn't have. I get up and open the medicine cabnet taking out the empty pill bottel for my sertraline. I sit on my floor again and hold my legs close to my chest. My psychiatrists and my conversation goes through my mind.
"So what brings you to us?" Dr. Gupta askes me.
"Well, I've been haveing these blank spaces in my memory scince I was about 14 and when I wake up sometimes I find bad stuff." I pause
"What kind of bad stuff are we taking about?" He askes
I take a deep breath and answer "dead animals, like my cat Nasha she was fine before then the next thing I see shes gutted on the floor." I tear up "I'm terryified it's me doing it but I don't want to hurt anything I loved Nasha, she was my baby."
"So you believe you are doing things you can't remember. What age were you when this happen?"
"I was 16 when Nasha died but there were other animals like the neighbors pets. Stuff would be written on my walls that I didn't write. I just don't know what to do, I don't want to be locked up but I don't wanna hurt anymore animals or one day God forbid a person." I tell worried about what he will say.
"Well, there is no reson to worry about being in a ward. Today we will just start you on a high does of sertraline. Make sure you don't skip a dose and these blackouts should stop."
I come back to the present, and relize I should have listened I hadn't had a blackout in weeks so I thought why would it matter if I missed a few days. I get up and throw the empty bottle. I go back to that terrible place and bury the torn up body, close the underground door and cover it with leaves and dirt.
I go back to my house and turn the shower on. Washing all the blood and filth off of me. Once I get out I dress in clean clothes and bury my bloody ones. I sit down at my desk thinking about the paper professor Colloway told us to write and I look in the mirror making eye contact with myself. I smile a smile that doesn't reach my eyes and say I know what complete insanity is.