I'll Make You See It Was All Real-Sequel to When Does the Pretend End?

Chapter 18-I Can't Tell Him

  Lucy's Pov

"I'm what" I shout. "You're pregnant" Dr. Madison says. "I take it this is a surprise" she asks. "I can't be pregnant" I say. "Are you sure she is?" Elena asks and Dr. Madison nods. "100%. You can be no more than 9 -10 weeks" she says. "Oh God. I think I'm going to be sick" I say and she hands me a basin.

"Better" Dr. Madison says handing me a glass of water. "I can't be pregnant. I had my period" I say. "Some women experience bleeding in the early stages its quite common" she says. "But I'm on the pill. Well I haven't taken it in the last few weeks but I was" I say. "The pill isn't always effective. Or you could have thrown up the pill maybe" she says. And my mind drifts back to the day I left Cristiano's house after finding Merche there. I threw up so much on my way home. "Oh God" I mutter my skin as cold as ice.

"Lucy" Elena says taking my hand. "You are sure?" I ask Dr. Madison. "Yes. I know it's come as a shock" she says. "What are my options?" I ask and can feel Elena's eyes on me. "Options if you don't want to continue with the pregnancy?" she asks and I nod. I never thought I'd be asking this. I never thought I'd be pregnant at my age. By my ex-boyfriend.

"Well there's adoption and abortion. I can put you in contact with people who could advise you. But I wouldn't be making a rush decisions" she says.

This can't be happening I think.

"This can't be happening" I say sitting in Elena's car. "What are you going to do?" Elena asks. "I don't know" I say. "You should talk to Cris" she says and I shake my head. "Lucy you have to tell him" she says. "I can't. I can't. This is too much" I say. "Lucy is has a right to know. I know this is a shock. Don't make any decisions that you'll regret" she says.

"I can't be a mother Elena. I'm not even 21 years of age. I'd be a horrible mother" I say. "I bet everyone woman thinks that at first" she says. "I can't. I can't" I say.

"I know it's a shock" she says. "A shock. I've just buried my best friend and now I found out I'm pregnant. Why the hell did I go to Madeira?" I say. "Madeira?" Elena asks. "The timing is right I guess" I mutter.

"So it's Cristiano's baby then" she says. "You just said I should talk to him. Are you really asking me if it's his? Jezz he's the ass who slept around not me" I shout. "Hey I'm sorry. I know it's his. It's just. Oh I don't know. I don't know what to say" she says. "And I don't know what to do" I say. "You should talk to him" she says. "I can't Elena. I can't have his baby. I'm not ready. I'd be a terrible mother. I just can't" I say.

"Lucy" she says. "How can I have a baby? What would I tell it? That its Dad and I aren't even together. That what I thought was a perfect relationship was all a lie. I can't" I say.

"Lucy you're in shock. Let's go home and rest. Give you time to think" Elena says. There's no thinking. I can't do this. I can't have a baby.

"Lucy there's no point in you been here if your mind isn't in the room" Matt says and I turn to face him. "Sorry Matt. I didn't get much sleep last night" I say. "Go home" he says and I shake my head. "Go for a walk then. Seriously Lucy you look in more shock now than you have the last few days. Is everything alright?" he asks.

"Depends on your definition of fine" I mutter. "Now you're starting to worry me" he says. "It's complicated. I just need sleep" I say. "Then go get some" he says. "I think I will" I say and he laughs. "What?" I ask. "Just enjoying the fact you actually listened to me for once" he smirks. "Idiot" I say.

I have no idea how ended up here I think as the gates open. I went for a walk and ended up back at my apartment. When I saw my car, I just hoped in a switched on the ignition and drove. "I drove here of all places" I mutter to myself as I pull up next to a Range Rover. The last time I was here, I was driving away. 9 weeks ago.

Maybe I should just leave I think as I sit in the car staring at the front door. I have no idea what I'm even going to say. I can't tell him about the .....I don't know what I want. Why the hell did I come here?

The door opens and I hold my breath before letting out when I see it Rio, Wayne and Michael coming out the door. They look over and I know now that I have no choice but to get out of the car. "Hey Lucy" Wayne says walking over to me. "Hi guys" I half smile. "How have you been?" Michael asks and Wayne digs him in the ribs. "Oh ya sorry I forgot about your friend" he says.

"We were sorry to hear about your friend" Rio says. "Thanks" I say. "You should come by and see Coleen since you're in the area" Wayne says. "Well you wait to see if she's not running from the police first in case she kills Ronnie" Rio says. "I have a fair idea he won't the one I'd be killing first" I smirk at Rio. "Well I hope you're not here to fight and yell at him cos he's a right pain at the moment" Rio says. "Shut up Rio" Wayne yells. And Rio shrugs.

"What? I say the wrong thing to her anyway no point in trying to change now" he says and I can't help but laugh. "See she's not annoyed" he smiles as Wayne rolls his eyes. "It is good that you are here though. And Rio is right. Ronnie has been a pain even more these last few days" Michael says.

"Man why do I always have to be somewhere when Nuno is cooking something really nice" Nani moans as he comes through the door followed by Cris. "Lucy" he says in shock. "Hi" I say and everyone lapse into silence "Right we should be going so" Wayne says and the others nod. "Good to see you Lucy" Wayne says. "You too. Tell Coleen I'll be in touch soon" I say.

"Remember try not to kill him. We need for the next match" Rio quips. "Will you shut up" Wayne shouts. "Are you trying to make things worse for Ronnie?" Michael asks Rio. "Well she's talking to him so that's something. In fact she's been talking to him since we spoke to her" Rio says sounding proud.

"Don't bloody remind her about that. Jezz she was pissed that day" Michael says. "Ronnie wasn't happy with you lot for interfering either" Nani says.

"You do realise we are standing right here guys" I say. "Go have your domestic somewhere else" Cris says shaking his head. "And Rio thinks I'm insane for supporting Liverpool when you are the one that has them lot as friends" I say as I watch Rio and Wayne bicker as they walk to Rio's car. "Please don't tell me he called you insane again?" he groans. "No but he did say he always says the wrong thing to me so there's no point trying to say the right thing" I say turning to stare up at him.

"That's a start. And they mean well in their own stupid way" he says and I nod. "You want to come in?" he asks stepping back to let me in. "I....." I stutter. "You did come all this way. You might as well come in" he says.

"I don't know how I ended up here. I just went for a drive and ended up here" I say moving through the door. "I'm glad you did" he says closing the door behind us. "How have you been?" he asks.

How to answer that one mmmmmmm not sleeping much, can't stop thinking about Tina oh and I found out I'm pregnant and you're the dad.

"Ok" I eventually mutter. "Watch out" he says nodding in front of us and I look to see Marcosa running towards me. "Hello boy" I say as the dog runs into my arms. "Someone missed you" Cris says as Marcosa licks my face.

"Did you miss me?" I ask the dog as he enjoys me rubbing his head. "Who wouldn't?" Cris says and I look up from the ground. I really shouldn't have come here today. I can't tell him.

I can't. I can't.