"When did all of this happen?" she asked looking up at me. I was now seated on the bed, watching as she sat on the floor and went through all of the bags. "Do you remember Quan?" I asked monotonously as I pulled out my phone. She nodded her head as she continued to look through the stuff. "He took his girl to the mall and she picked out all of the stuff for you," I paused unlocking my phone and pulling up a group picture. I walked over to her, showing her the picture and pointing to the only girl, "Her name is Courtney," I mumbled before standing back up and walking over to my desk. "She's looks very kind," she said quietly as she began to fold the clothes. I nodded my head smiling a little, "She's a great girl. Honestly, she changed Quan for the better. You'll meet her eventually," I said before pulling out a bit of paperwork.
After a few minutes of working, I noticed that I forgot to take my phone back. As I looked up from the papers, I saw Kassidy still on my phone. I growled slightly under my breath, standing up and storming over to her. I ripped the phone out of her hands before looking at the screen; the bitch was going through my pictures. "Have you ever heard of the word privacy bitch?" I asked picking her up by the hair. I don't mean to get angry so fast. But it just happens, I can't control it. "I-I'm sorry C-Chris," she said frantically, pulling at my hand that gripped her hair. I glared into her eyes, watching as fear danced around in them. My hand released her hair and I raised my hand before smacking her hard across the face. "You better be," I mumbled prior to walking back to me desk. I began to silently work again, listening to the quiet sobs coming from her as she went back to folding clothes.
I felt a pang of guilt run through my heart as I looked up, looking over at her. Guilt wasn't something that I let myself feel however this was a different type of guilt. This guilt was strong enough to push through the walls that I keep it in and cause me to feel ashamed of what I did to her. Unlike most people with anger problems as well as bipolar problems, who try to refuse they have them, I'm completely aware that I have them. I'm also completely aware that they have taken over me. I just simply don't care; I don't have reason to fix myself. I gave up on myself the day that my parents died. It's not my choice, I didn't choose this life. It's what I was given and I've taught myself to simply deal with it.
I pushed my thoughts to the back of my head as I stood up. I watched her as she immediately panicked as soon as she heard my footsteps. "I'm not going to hurt you," I mumbled as I sat down beside her shaking body. My hand gently pressed against her back, causing her to jump before crying harder, looking up at my face. I looked into her eyes, watching as they expressed fear and sadness. "Oh baby," I paused moving closer to her. "I'm so sorry," I said as she leaned into my touch slightly. I cupped her cheek, wiping the tears that fell from her eyes as she closed them and continued sobbing quietly. "Did I hurt you bad?" I whispered touching the red spot that was forming on her cheek. She simply shrugged before wiping the tears herself and sighing. I could tell from those actions that she wanted to stop crying. I moved her so we were sitting side by side, before picking her up gently and sitting her in my lap.
She visibly shook in fear making my heart throb for her. "Don't be frightened baby," I whispered as I pressed my lips to the red spot. "I didn't mean to hurt you, I can't control it," I whispered as I rocked her back and fourth gently. I allowed my hand to rub her back very gently as she started to calm down a little bit. As soon as I became tracing patterns on her back, I watched as she visibly started relaxing in my arms. She yawned quietly, obviously emotionally exhausted from the scene. I picked her up slowly, giving her a gently kiss as I moved so she'd stay calm. Her head found its way to my shoulder as I stood up with her in my arms. I moved us to the bed, laying her down before covering her body with the blankets. I made sure she was situated before placing a loving kiss to her forehead and whispering another, "I'm so sorry sweetheart," prior to going back to my desk. I sat there silently, listening to her soft breathing as I went back to doing some work.
* * Kassidy * *
"You did what?" a voice whisper-shouted waking me slightly. "Shh you're going to wake her," another voice who sounded like Chris whispered. I kept my eyes closed, deciding to listen in on their conversation. "I didn't mean to man, I just lost control," Chris whispered. I immediately knew that he was talking about what happened earlier and he was most likely telling this to Quan since they're best friends. "Man, maybe you should see a doctor and get your prescription renewed." Quan whispered definitely more quiet now. "I don't think its necessary," Chris said. I felt the bed dip slightly and fingers tracing patterns on my skin. I immediately tried not the flinch due to fear, allowing the fingers to dance along my face. "If you want her to ever have feelings for you it is," Quan mumbled making me inwardly gag. I would never have feelings for Chris. Never. Especially not now after he fucking smacked me.
"I'll think about it," Chris whispered as his lips pressed to my forehead, "Isn't she beautiful?" he asked Quan. I could hear the smile in his voice as he did making my heart bounce lightly. "Yeah man, I'm sure Court and her would get along amazingly. Well I better get back to work, good talk man," Quan spoke, his voice becoming more distant as he finished the sentence. I didn't hear a reply from Chris, I only heard the door opening and closing before the blanket was raised and arms were wrapped around me. I waited a few minutes, finding myself relaxing into Chris' touch slightly before snapping out of my trance and pretending to slowly wake up.
"Hey princess," I heard him whisper. I looked up at him, smiling slightly before stretching. "How was your nap?" he asked looking down at me as I shrugged, "It was fine," I mumbled trying to back away slightly. I honestly felt more uncomfortable being this close to him now more so then before. "Don't pull away from me," he growled sternly. I immediately froze, not wanting a replay or what happened before. "I'm not going to hurt you," he mumbled, pulling my body until I was pressed up against him. I felt a feeling of uneasiness flow through my body making my toes curl. "I want you to know that I truly am sorry for before and I am being honest when I say I can't control it," he whispered, tucking a strand of loose hair behind my ear. Sorry my ass. I sighed quietly, before nodding my head. "I mean it baby," he spoke, his thumb brushing against the mark that I knew was there. I winced slightly as he brushed over a sensitive spot causing him to immediately raise his thumb. I looked up at him as his hand moved to my hair, playing with it instead of touching the wound. I closed my eyes as his hand pushed my head gently into his hoodie covered chest, "It won't happen again sweetheart."
