A/n: before I start this chapter
I would like to say thank you for all of you who had given me advices and supports over the friends issue :')And today something happened..
We have sports class every thursday, and today is football. Our teacher wanted us to separate into 2/3, so the five of us separated 2 & 3 ( I'm in the 3 one )
Then after learning some skills the teacher wanted us to separate into 2 in one group.
2 in one.
Damn. They immediately looked at me, I be like: "how do we separate?" I know I must be the one who need to find a partner from others.
( at first they said one of them have to play twice like be a partner with me, but none of them did. )
There's this three girls group too, so I asked one of them how do they gonna separate and she said: dk, mayb one of us dont play.
Oh great.
Then I saw her went and asked the one of them from the other two: "do you want to be with her?"
The girl had her back facing me I can't see her face but I think she said no because she never came over to me.
Okay. I'm so not okay.
Then a girl's partner went away with the other one ( we're standing side by side ) so she asked me to join her.
But then second round, I have no partner.
And I felt so damn guilty when I ran with another girl's partner and she's running her own.
Like damn.
Then our teacher let us had free time.
I didn't run towards the four of them, instead I walked to take my water.
When I looked over them, the four of them were playing football and they were like not even waited for me.
Oh hell.
I kinda laughed at myself and walked over the bench beside and crazily drink my water.
I was waiting for them to ask me to play.
But none of them did.
And I felt so shit I felt like crying.
So I told my teacher I'm going to the toilet. Then finally E waved her hand at me and asked if I wanna play.
I just waved her off and went to the toilet.
And I freakin' cry in the toilet.
I know I know, that's so stupid.
But I couldn't help myself.
When I went back after calming myself, I walked over to them and J asked if I wanted to join bowling.
'How many in a group?' I asked.
'Three. We got one more girl joining.'
'I'll see.'
Tbh, I felt like I'm the extra one, like maybe they just need that one extra person to join so that they got to form two groups.
Meh.
Then we sat over to a bench and the four of them started talking while I just sat beside staring at everywhere, mind blank, heart hurts.
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