As I Walk through the doors I felt the warmth wave over my body like a hot blanket on a cold winter day. All my goosebumps ran from there hugging spots on my body and I started feeling better. "If only that could help my life problems," I said with a feeling of some sort of relief " I would probably be the peachy keen kid my mom longs for." If only she know my real problems she would know why I don't open up to her.
Cause your a self centered bitch.
No I'm not stop saying things like like that.
Yes you are you can't even open up to your own mom cause you know she never really loved you.
Yes she does that's why I'm here it's just I don't want to burden her with my problems.
Lair.
Stop.
LAIR!
STOP IT NOW!
That's all I could think of, are my demons actually right. Am I really a self centered bitch. Does she really not love me? That's all my mind could focus on. Shit. Work. I'm at work I need to get my head out the clouds. But how could I when all I did was question my entire existence. Fuck that my life. Shit my mom would have aborted me if I was a boy that's probably why I feel the need to reach her expectations. The rest of today went by in a blur I barely focused at work and I was so annoyed because of my demons always ruining my day. When I got in the house I barely even remember what I did I just remember waking up at like 12 in the morning because my friend Rebecca FaceTimed me talking about bull shit I wasn't even paying attention to I was just there listening but not listening ya know. Lol. All I could hear was my dreams calling me to come watch them.
