Across the road

I prefer Angel.

I stood staring out at an endless view of the shimmering tide. Glimpses of blue and green flickered under the amber glow of the setting sun. "It's beautiful" He whispered as his arms gently caressed my fragile skin. "Isn't it just." I responded, watching his arms sliding around me, i let a smile shape my face. The sweet feeling of his lips against my neck sent my senses soaring to a whole new world. "I was talking about you.." He whispered, his breath hitting just under my ear. Quickly, he spun me around, his nose against mine he lifted my arms above my head. "shh don't fight it." his words spun around my head as he slid his cold hands down my shaking body. My lip was quivering "no.. no." I took a small step back, refusing his touch. My ankle was being pulled, i fell to the ground, the whole of my body frozen still, I slammed my hands down and screamed. "Shut the fuck up you stupid bitch." His once soft voice was now a harsh scowl. Gasping for air, i struggled to get free. The feeling of drowning, the feeling of suffocating, i couldn't escape. "it wont hurt" The last i heard from him before he lifted my dress and.. the rest. Well. I. Never mind. It hurts to remember. I was young, idiotic, some may even say in love.It hurts ok? His last words were nothing but a twisted lie. 

Oh how it fucking sickens me, the word love. The most manipulative feeling is love it is the most regularly abused weakness. I think about the me before him, the only remains of her is my polished, pink bedroom. A room that was once my kingdom but now feels like nothing more than a prison cell. I can forgo the golden beams of light, I can suffer nothing but bleak walls, but i can not live with the sting of an unwanted memory. 

It was foolish of me to once think there was good in everyone, no wrong in the world. Well wake up sunshine, the world is nothing but hell. I had to learn some how, but he was a strict teacher. His discipline was illegal, his methods disgust me, his marking was poison. 

Oh how rude of me, i was so wrapped up in my sob story i forgot to introduce my self. My birth name is Angelica, but i prefer Angel. I was a mistake, in fact my so called Dad reminds me regularly about how im his deepest regret. 

Bloody hell, there he goes, backwaters biggest fuck boy, on his scooter. That's Leo, my dickhead of a neighbor. I dont know who the hell he thinks he is, blasting r&b as if hes a black man. Scrawny lil bastard. I could take him. Then again.. if hes anything like his cousin.. he will take me.. every little piece of my innocence would be destroyed.. all over again.