Washout

Sometimes it's good to start over

Afternoon
There's a strange woman outside. She's standing at the doorstep, talking to Aunt Celeste.
Sammy has his nose pressed against the glass, watching. Jack wishes he'd stop, it'll leave a smudge and the boy's Aunt will be mad.
The strange woman leaves. As she walks down the path, she turns around. Her grey eyes find Jack's. Then she's gone, and Aunt Celeste is in the living room.
Who was that Aunty? Sammy asks.
Aunt Celeste seems tired. No one. Go take your nap Sammy. You've had enough tv today.
Sammy leaves the room, his chubby 4-year old legs pumping across the carpet.
That woman used to live in this house. Aunt Celeste tells Jack.
But then she had to move away. She made some mistakes, and now she wants to start over.
Sometimes it's good to start over. Jack says. That's what Aunt Celeste said when she was helping them unpack their things 3 months ago,
Aunt Celeste nods. Why was she so sad? Sammy asks from the doorway. He's back with his stuffed giraffe in his arms.
Aunt Celeste doesn't look happy that Sammy is not asleep in his room. But she still answers his question.
It's because she's lonely. Aunt Celeste says carefully. Because she doesn't have a family anymore.
Like us. Jack says. Aunt Celeste turns to look at him. She looks maybe a little bit mad and a little bit sad and a little bit of something else.
Yes Jack. Aunt Celeste says after a long while. Like you.

Evening
When Uncle Henry gets back to the house Jack goes to the bedroom. Sammy is already there, on his little bed.
Jack sits on his bed. He watches Sammy play with his giraffe and hippo toys. Jack thinks about the lady who came to the door. He wonders what happened to her family.
Aunt Celeste calls to Jack to turn his light off. Jack flicks the switch and goes to sleep.

Morning
Jack takes Sammy to school, like everyday. They walk through Aunt Celeste's neighborhood. They see lots of houses, and lots of men. They also see lots of woman. None of them have grey eyes.

Evening
Jack asks Uncle Henry about the woman that used to live in the house. Uncle Henry frowns and tells Jack to go to bed.

Afternoon
Uncle Henry and Aunt Celeste talk in quiet voices. They shut the door so Jack and Sammy can't hear them.
What did you do? Jack asks Sammy. Sammy shakes his head. Nothing.

Morning
Jack asks Aunt Celeste about the woman that came to the door. Aunt Celeste frowns at him.
So many questions. She says. Why are you so curious about a person you don't know?
Jack doesn't say anything. Aunt Celeste sighs.
Her name is Amber. She lived here when she was married to a man named Jim.
What happened to him? Jack says.
He... he decided that he didn't want to love Amber anymore, so he went away. Now Amber is sad. She comes back to this house because this is the last place her life made sense. Aunt Celeste tells Jack.
He left her? Jacks asks. Why do people always go away when you want them to stay?
Aunt Celeste does not look very happy at Jack. Sometimes people don't have a choice Jack. Sometimes they just can't stay.
Because they don't love you anymore. Jack says.
No. Aunt Celeste says. Jim doesn't love Amber anymore, that is true. But that's not always the case.
Maybe me and Sammy should go to live with Amber. Jack says. So then no one will be lonely.
Aunt Celeste doesn't say anything to Jack. She just looks at him. Finally he leaves the room.
It wasn't their choice to leave you, Jack. Don't try to make it sound like their choice. Jack hears aunt Celeste call after him. He doesn't turn around.

Evening
Jack takes Sammy to the park. They sit on the swings. They go down the slide and they play on the sea saw.
A woman comes to the park. She has dark hair and she holds a shopping bag.
Jack leaves Sammy in the sand and goes over to her. He stops in front of her.
The woman looks up at Jack. Her eyes are blue, not grey. Jack takes Sammy home.

Afternoon
    Aunt Celeste takes Jack and Sammy to the store. She says they need to buy milk and cereal and eggs.
    After Aunt Celeste pays, they clerk hands her a receipt. Aunt Celeste gives it to Jack, and he is proud that he can read everything it says.
1 gal 1% milk         ***        2.75
8 tomato/ pink lady   ***  6.43
I box luck charms     ***    5.07

                   Total balance due:
                                    14.25
Jack remembers when Mommy used to take them to the store. She let them each get a candy bar before they left.

                     Morning
     Uncle Henry is still at the house when Jack and Sammy wake up on Sunday. He made them eggs and something brown and flat called grits. Jack wonders if they are called that because you have to grit your teeth to swallow them.
      Jack remembers when Daddy used to make pancakes on Sunday morning. Jack liked his best with cinnamon apple slices.

                     Evening
    Sammy makes Jack play cards with him. They play trash and spit and rummy and BS, even though you need to have 3 people to play that.
    Aunt Celeste asks what BS stands for. Jack tells her it means bullshit. Sammy tells her that Jack thinks she's full of it.
    Aunt Celeste tells them to play rummy from now on. Jack wins 7 games, and Sammy wins 4.

                     Morning
  When Jack wakes up Sammy runs to him in his pajamas.
    That lady is back again. Sammy tells Jack.
     Jack sees the woman with the grey eyes at the front door. Aunt Celeste is talking to her.
    Jack wants to talk to her too. He walks over to the door so he can stand behind his aunt.
    Aunt Celeste tells the woman that she is sorry, but the woman has to leave now.
    Before Aunt Celeste can close the door, Jack slips outside.
    Amber looks surprised to see him. Jack looks at her grey eyes.
    I'm sorry that your Jim left you. Jack tells her. The woman's eyes widen slightly.
    My Mommy and Daddy left me too. They went to a special place named heaven, and I can't  see them anymore, or even call. Jack goes on. He hopes he is making the woman feel better.
    I'm sorry you feel lonely. I hope that coming back here helps you feel better. Sometimes I wish I could go back to my old house. Jack pauses.
     Sometimes it's good to start over. That's what my aunt says. He tells Amber.
    Amber hasn't said anything. Then she gives Jack a tiny smile.
    Come back inside now, Jack. Aunt Celeste calls from the doorway. Jack waits a moment.
    Amber nods at him very slowly. Jack returns the smile. Then he goes back inside to his aunt and his brother.
    Before Aunt Celeste can say anything, Jack goes to the window in the next room. He can see Amber walking down the path. Just before she reaches her car, she turns around.
    Her grey eyes meet Jack's. Just for a moment. Then she's gone.
     Maybe he'll see her again, and maybe he won't.