Girl Meets True Self

Chapter 1

It had been over a month since the class trip to the ski lodge and tonight Riley was going on her first date with Lucas since becoming a couple.

"I don't know what to wear," Riley called from the closet.

"I doubt Ranger Rick will care what you pick, Riles. You've been going through your clothes for over an hour."

"You back to that name now?"

"You wanted Maya back. Maya calls Huckleberry Ranger Rick. It just must be done."

"Ok I'm coming out." Riley emerged from the closet wearing a knee length tangerine dress.

Maya caught her breath, "Wow. Lucas will love it."

"You really mean it?"

"Riles, you look beautiful."

Riley beamed at her. "Ok he should be here any minute. I'm going to go downstairs and wait. I'm sure my dad wants to have some sort of chat before I go anyways knowing him."

"How the War of Australia mirrors the drama of teen dating," Maya said in her best Cory impression.

Riley raised an eyebrow, "The War of Australia?"

"I don't know. You know I never listed to your dad. Now go on downstairs. Your date will be here soon."

As Maya watched Riley leave the room she felt an invisible weight fall on to her chest. She did her best to ignore the feeling but despite her efforts it wasn't going away.

-

An hour later Maya made her way downstairs to find Cory and Topanga laying together on the couch watching a movie. She sat down in the chair nearest Cory and brought her knees to her chest.

Topanga nudged Cory to pause the tv and turned to her, "Maya, is everything ok?"

"Ya. Thanks again for letting me stay here while my Mom and Shawn are on their honeymoon."

"You're welcome here anytime, you know that," she replied. "It looks like somethings bothering you."

"I don't know what's wrong," she admitted. "Since Riley left I've felt..." she paused.

"You felt how?"

"Jealous," she finally said out loud. "But I thought I didn't like Lucas like that. I realized I didn't want to be with him, but now that they are together I feel like this. I don't understand it."

Cory gave her a heartfelt smile, "Maya, do you think there's a chance this isn't about Lucas?"

"What do you mean, Mr. Matthews?"

"I mean is there a chance he's not the reason you're feeling jealous?"

Maya searched her mind for understanding of what she was being asked. When she finally reached the conclusion realization flashed across her face. "It's her," she whispered, staring at her knees. Suddenly everything made sense to her. Liking Lucas because he was just like Riley, turning herself into Riley as a way to cope with her feelings, even liking Boing to get closer to her family. "No. But I... I can't feel that." She looked back up to Cory and Topanga, "Am I gay?"

Topanga stood up from where she was sitting and walked over to Maya to hug her. "You know there isn't just straight and gay right? And titles aren't important."

"Make it go away," tears fell down her cheeks.

"It doesn't work that way," Topanga said while gently stroking Maya's hair away from her face.

"I can't have feelings for my best friend. I'm supposed to like boys!"

"Maya, we have no control over who we fall for," added Cory from his seat on the couch. "Sometimes you fall for the weird girl in class who makes lipstick art on her face, sometimes you fall for your best friend."

"How long have you known?"

"We've suspected for a while. I think I had an idea since you started dressing and acting like Riley. I knew for sure that night the police officer brought you home. This one is a little dense and didn't figure it out until I spelled it out for him."

"You wound me, Topanga."

"What do I do, Mrs. Matthews? I don't want things to change between us. I don't want to lose her."

"If I know my daughter nothing you do or say will cause you to lose her. If you haven't noticed your friendship means the world to her. And maybe thing will change, for the better."

"If things do change you need to come and tell me and Topanga straight away so we can reevaluate the sleeping arrangements."

Maya's eyes widen, horrified.

"Cory!" Snapped Topanga.

"What? I was kidding. Although it may have to happen eventually, I'm not naive."

"Maya, don't listen to him. Take this one step at a time."

"I'm scared."

"Come here," Topanga took Maya back into her arms and embraced her as tears began to flow from Maya's eyes.