Shocked and Lovestruck

Kirie

I'm Kirie Motoba. I'm 16 years old and I'm in high school. It's not fun, and I'm unable to make friends. The reasoning behind this is because I'm quite shy, and I always have been. I have a tendency to get somewhat violent when I'm embarrassed, I give people glares without meaning to, and I have a bad reputation after I smacked my older brother in public due to my own embarrassment. I'm quite plain, which also might have something to due with the fact that nobody seems to like me. There is one girl, however, named Umaru Doma. I've gone to school with her for quite a while now, and she's one of the few people that has actually been nice to me. She's popular, beautiful, and seemingly good at everything, including sports and her studies. Quite frankly, I've been secretly in love with her for about 3 months. There is absolutely no way I'd ever be able to gather the courage to confess my feelings to her, for multiple reasons. Being attracted to girls when you're a girl yourself is generally looked down upon here, and I have no idea what her views on that are, let alone whether or not she's even into girls, which I highly doubt. Girls like her, from what I've seen, are usually into jock-type guys, unfortunately. I basically have no chance. I've been pretty upset about this for awhile, but I would like to at least become friends with her. However, as I mentioned before, I'm pretty shy. Very much so, actually. I stutter when attempting to talk to people most of the time. I'm extremely socially awkward, and when I was 10 years old, I was diagnosed with Autism (Asperger's syndrome, more specifically.) I have made my best effort to hide this from everyone, including my teachers. My older brother respects this to a certain degree, thankfully, and he hasn't told anyone so far. It's extremely hard for me to function properly in school though, and not being able to tell this to my teachers makes it even worse.

It's morning, and I've just arrived at school. I sit in my usual seat in the back of the classroom, and stare at my crush, Umaru, as per usual. I've always had a bit of a problem with staring at people, especially people I'm interested in. She notices, and I immediately turn around, my face red. I look back at her out of the corner of my eye, and I notice she's smiling at me. "She's so beautiful..." I think to myself.