Lily
I really don't understand Potions.
Sev isn't in my class this year, so its harder. He used to tutor me last year.
It was really awkward.
See, I like Sev as a friend, but he's tried to kiss me several times. I pushed him away every time.
Sure, he's nice and all, but he's greasy. He's got hatred inside of him; the only reason I'm here is because he needs me. I would have left him alone years ago if he wasn't as desperate as he is. He's not a good match for me.
But we used to be good friends. We used to do everything together. We used to laugh together without him trying to press his slimy lips to mine.
He hates James Potter with a burning passion. He hates him because he thinks I'm going to run away and marry him or something.
As if.
Yes, he is very attractive with his messy black hair, shining blue eyes, and, God, he has one heck of a jawline, but I could never sink so low. Could I?
Would I really be sinking low though? Or would I just be... No. Just no.
Class starts as I'm daydreaming, and I hardly notice as Meridith quietly sits next to me as she shoves her books onto the desk, only to open up a notebook, pull out a pencil, and doodle as well as take the occasional note.
Meridith is what you could call my best friend, I guess. Sev has lost that title ages ago. She's really sassy, and she's extremely easy to talk to. She's very flirtatios, and she's beautiful.
She's a supermodel. She has long, brown, wavy hair, hazel eyes, really long eyelashes, full, rosebud lips, and undeniably a perfect body.
I always wonder how James can look at me while I'm always standing next to her, she's perfect.
I'm just an average girl, I'm 5'9, Green eyes, fire red hair. Normal looking. Extrememly self concious. (He doesn't help with that.) Living in a fantasy world, thinking sassy comments in her head all day, tea obsessed, and pathetic.
I glance up as the third of four chairs at the table fills itself with Remus Lupin, the only one of the Mauraders that I can actually stand. He and James have been at a head meeting, for only prefects and Head Boy and Girl. Why James is a prefect? I have no idea. He is no role model.
Slughorn announces work time for an assignment, but I can't focus right now.
"Hey," He whispers at me, winking, "What'd I miss?"
"Nothing much, just Slughorn's ranting about his favorite students."
"Nothing changes."
"Seriously."
We are silent for a second. He's holding his breath, like he's about to ask me a question. I wait, and wait, the tension filling the air with suspense.
"I promised James I'd save him a spot."
"No way. No way," I say, shaking my head. My voice sounds strangled. I shake my head too vigorously.
"Oh come on."
"No."
"Why?" Remus pleads, "He likes you. And he's not half bad when he's not trying to be funny."
"I'm afraid I've never seen any other side of him than the one that embarasses me. But thanks for the offer," I say sarcastically.
"He embarasses you?"
"...Yeah."
"Awww come on. Just one class."
"He's gonna-"
"Hey James!" Remus inturrupts me, gesturing for James to sit next to me. I glare at Remus, but he doesn't see me.
He sits down next to me, grinning.
"Awww, c'mon Lily," he says in his low, smooth voice, "I don't bite. Its okay to look at me." I want to look at him. I honestly do. I know I want to hug him. I know I want to. But Sev is holding me down. The past. The chains of memories. I allow myslelf a peak at his stunning eyes.
"Hello," I say through gritted teeth. I hate him. But I don't. I like him. No. I hate him.
"Talk to me, Evans. Are your teeth glued together? Why do you hate me?" Why are my teeth glued together? Uh, what? Why is his hair so perfect... his eyes... He is so handsome...
"Uh..."
"Evans?"
"Er, sorry."
"Blimey! Remus! Didja hear that? Evans said sorry to me! Bloody Hell!" Remus smirks. I look away from him, biting my lip. Meridith looks up.
"Lay off, Potter."
"Oh hey, Mer," James says. Mer giggles.
"Lemme fix your hair," she says. I get jealous, but then he leans away, winking at me.
"Nah, I'd rather have Evans fix my hair, but she hates my guts, so I'll just sit here." I'm silent as I blush.
"Lily, you look really pretty today," he says, casually tucking a lock of hair behind my ear. I'm too frozen to pull away.
"Erm, thanks." He laughs.
"Why are you so scared around me? I like you. I'm not a monster."
"Uh-"
"Its Sev, huh."
"Er-"
"You know, Lil, I only do it cuz I saw him try and kiss you, and I will hate anybody you date-"
"We're not dating," I say sternly. He raises his eyebrows.
"He's changed," I say quickly, looking away.
"Hey," he says catching my chin between his fingers, "I'm just glad that you're actually talking to me, I'm just treasuring the moment, don't feel like I'm shoving you into anything..."
"You're not," I say smiling fakely as I push his hand away, "I breathe my own air. I can make my own desicions."
Meridith and Remus get up and leave us alone. I want to get up and yank Meridith's arm, and shove her right back down into her seat. The last thing I want is to be alone with James Potter.
But he looks so harmless right now, smiling at me, like he could have never hurt Sev.
"Alright. You breathe your own air, you make your own desicions." I can't help but laugh at the way he says it.
"Bloody hell. Bloody flippin' hell. Did I just make... Lily Evans laugh? This is a transitional moment in my life. If I were more confident in the fact that you don't hate me, why, I might even ask you to Hogsmede right now."
"In your dreams, Potter," I say smiling. He laughs.
"Its always worth a shot," he says, winking.
This must be the first time I've ever spoken to the real James Potter. Because he's not a sarcasm bomb, and he's actually being nice and thoughtful.
Who are you, James Potter?
