The Real Love

The Real ME

Living in a life of doubts and judgements.. Not knowing how and were to go for guidance or when i need help. Its all bundled up inside of me and cant come out. Only way is through my writing ,tears, or singing. But these days that doesn't seem to be working. My mind gets confused by the thoughts going through my heart. Why cant i be that happy go lucky girl that everyone thinks i am? Im not that. Im a mess. Emotions going through me with nowhere to escape. Thoughts in my head but don't know how to process themselves to come out as words. Changes in my heart. But my heart hasn't chosen who to hold onto yet. Am i a ho? No ! Im just stuck in a place trying to find out how to make my way back to that fifth grade me. The short fat bucktooth girl that everyone adored. But i am not her anymore. Im older wiser. But still a child.Yea I'm taller, slimed out, have straight teeth. But that didn't change me. Im known for the things that each individual says about me. Im known to be stuck up and rude and mean. Bu I'm not that way at all. Im a kind caring person that is not able to show because she has to defend herself at all times. I try to stay calm and collected but the things that people say about me tare me down with each word. Pealing a piece of my strength and courage with every hurtful and mean thing said or heard about me. Bu I'm tired of it .. Im finding a new me. A fresh start . A girl that people will look up to as a leader. Not a downer. And i wi make sure i am able to do that!!!