Captainswan One-Shots

You're Not Alone Anymore

Both of their tempers were high. It had been a long day and Emma was not in the mood for anything except for dinner and then sleep. She was especially not in the mood for a Killian Jones who wanted to talk to her about God-knew-what. All throughout dinner they ate in a tense silence. She could feel his probing, ocean blue eyes on her the entire time, wanting to talk but not knowing what to say or how to broach the topic of her current mood. She tried not to scoff; for once Killian didn't have a smart remark or comment that made her hackles rise even higher than they already were. She was tense, angry, and tired.

So of course, when he did finally try to speak to her while they were cleaning the dishes from dinner, she nearly threw a plate at him.

"Swan, what's bothering you?" He asked calmly and without even a hint of his usual cocky bluster - thank god - but she still snapped, rounding on him faster than he could blink.

"What's bothering me? What's bothering me?!" She fumed, "What's bothering me is that we got nothing done today. I got nothing done today. We didn't get one bit closer to figuring anything out, and I've got both Mary Margaret and Regina up my arse about it. And on top of that, you've been no help whatsoever. First, you ignored me completely when I told you to go with David. Secondly, you continued making unhelpful comments about nothing in particular. And thirdly, you're too dang calm about everything!" She was only partially sure of what was pouring out of her mouth - all she knew is that she was livid and Killian just happened to be the one standing next to her. A target that wouldn't run away. Someone who would yell back at her. She was itching for a fight, and she got one.

His brow arched and his jaw clenched as he turned to face her full on, the beginnings of frustration taking shape in his expression. "I only ignored you because you were walking straight into danger! I couldn't just -"

"I can handle myself just fine!"

"But I can't let you walk in there all alone! What would have happened if -"

"If what! If something goes wrong I'll just hit it with my magic and poof myself out of there!" Emma was full on yelling now, on the verge of tears - her tears ducts always reacted whenever she got angry - and her hands were gesturing all around her. "I don't need you-"

"That's your problem, Emma!" Killian's voice finally rose to meet hers in volume, going down an octave and suddenly becoming simultaneously frightening and incredibly vulnerable, "You think you can handle yourself in any sort of situation no matter what happens. But you can't."

"Yes I-" she tried to cut into his words, but he kept talking, staring directly at her, unblinking.

"Someday something is going to happen to you when you go running into danger to help others without thinking about yourself and -" his voice broke but he continued, taking a few steps closer to her and closing the gap between them. "- and it'll be my fault for not protecting you. It's my job, whether you like it or not."

She stepped back, crossing her arms across her chest and giving him her best I-don't-care look. "Well I don't like it. I can protect myself. I always have and I always will and just because you walked into my life now, doesn't mean you're suddenly my goddang prince or something and I'm the damsel in distress. I don't need your help."

Then without even waiting to see his reaction, Emma turned and walked out of the kitchen, going up to their bedroom and slamming the door. The second the door closed, her anger was spent. Every ounce of fight went out of her and her legs wobbled, feeling tears rush up fresh and overwhelm her. Just as quickly as the anger had swept through her, guilt followed and a sob with it. I am such a horrible person. The thought ran around her mind in circles, feeling awful for yelling at Killian as she crashed into the bed and muffled her tears with his pillow. Even as bad as she felt, there was no way she was going to and apologize yet. She was sure he was still fuming at her, and didn't want to show him that was much as she hated to admit it: she did need him. She did need his protection and his comfort. All those years on her own had hardened her skin and her heart. She had to fend for herself, relying on no one but herself. And it worked; it got her through life. Adapting to this new family and this new life was hard, harder than she thought it would be. But she couldn't just abandon her old ways, they had to understand that. Why was it so hard for her to let people in and let them protect her? Because she was an orphan who couldn't find a home and didn't have a family until she was 28. That was why. And every man she'd gotten close to had either died or betrayed her. So relationships weren't the best bet either.

Amidst her turmoil of thoughts, Emma heard the creak of the wooden floors in front of the bedroom door. She looked up, her eyes red and puffy from crying, tears still making tracks down her cheeks. She found herself wanting Killian to walk in, to lay down beside her and forget the fight ever happened. But that moment never came. After thirty seconds, she heard his footsteps walk quietly away from the door and her heart sank. He was still mad at her for blowing up at him. It was only fair after all, she was the one who'd wanted a fight. She had gotten what she wanted, hadn't she?

Huffing angrily to herself, she rolled back over and curled up, closing her eyes and trying to sleep. She was exhausted, but sleep never came. Her mind kept turning over and over, mentally bashing herself for saying those things to Killian, then countering it with an excuse. But that's all they were: excuses. She didn't have to be that way anymore. She could let him in, he'd proven himself time and time again. It was just so difficult!

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Around two hours and no sleep later, she finally got up and opened the bedroom door. Guilt and restlessness churned in her stomach, pushing her forward and down the hallway. Emma peeked around the corner to see a shape underneath a thin blanket sitting on the couch in the dark. Her heart sank even lower; she'd completely kicked him to the curb. And he wasn't sleeping either, obviously.

Cautiously, she stepped out from the hallway and turned on the kitchen light, letting the ambient glow seep into the living room, giving her enough light to see. Slowly, she walked up to the couch and stood in front of it, waiting for him to lift his head and see her.

"I'm sorry," came bursting out of her in a rush of breath and no sooner had she said that, then she was wrapped up in a tight hug. The rush of relief gave her goosebumps, and she reached up to hug him tightly back, gathering her breath to continue her apology.

"I'm so sorry, Killian. I didn't mean those things I said. I do need your protection -"

"Emma." His voice stopped her, and in the half-dark she saw him smile slightly. "It's alright, love. I'm sorry too. Let's just leave it at that, aye?"

Smiling a small smile in return and nodding, she rested her hand on his scruffy cheek. "Sure, let's leave it at 'I'm sorry.'"

"It was a difficult day, Swan, but nothing we can't handle." He said softly after a few moments.

We. What used to be such a foreign word to her, and now it was such a familiar phrase. Comforting, in its own way. It reminded her that she wasn't alone anymore. "Nothing we can't handle." She echoed, leaning closer to kiss him. His arms tightened around hers as their lips met; softly and apologetically, putting everything they couldn't put into words into the kiss. Emma felt herself relax, her fears of Killian still being angry at her fading away, and the tension of the day becoming a distant memory.

He pulled away first, drawing her down to the couch where they curled together wordlessly, now wrapped in the thin blanket he'd been wrapped in earlier. Fingers wove between fingers, his hook a cool, comforting presence on her back. Her bare toes tucked between his calves, his chin resting on her head which lay comfortably on his bare chest.

And just like that, things were alright in the world again. She, Emma Swan, would face the curses and terrors of Storybrooke and other worlds, with Killian Jones. Not because she needed him, but because she was finally accepting him. Because she wanted him to be by her side and help her through the things she had to deal with as the Savior. She had finally realized that she didn't need to be alone anymore.