Phan

Chapter 3

All I know is that I love Phil.
And nothing will ever change.

        I woke up with Phil on top of me. I checked my phone to see that it was 3:00 in the morning. I slide out from under Phil which proved to be very difficult as he was literally on top of me.
      I knew I wouldn't be able to go back to sleep so I went to the kitchen and made some coffee. When I finished it I left the kitchen and went back to the living room only to find a crying, shaking, Phil.
       I ran to him quickly and said, "Phil what's wrong I'm here! It's okay Phil!" He opened his eyes and said, "I had a nightmare and... and you were gone. And I was so nervous that they were going to hurt you! And they did. They tore you to pieces! Dan you can't let them control your life." "Who tore me to pieces, Phil?" "I don't know. You're thoughts I think. They were all black hooded creatures that only whispered. And then their voices kept getting louder and louder telling you to do these awful things and the worst part is you listened to them over me. And you died!" He was having a panic attack. Not a bad one that can't be calmed down. But either way if he kept going like this I would have to take him to the hospital.
       "Phil. Phil it's okay. I'm still alive. It's okay. Just calm down. Take a deep breathe." He nodded and slowly calmed down. I turned on the tv but turned it to down to 10 and kept hugging him until he fell back to sleep.
                         -Flashback-
       "He's a fucking faggot. Phil why would you invite him?" Phil looked at him and said, "I'm gay too. Are you going to kick me out?" His friend shook his head and started chuckling. "Phil when are you going to tell him that you're only doing this because you feel bad for him?" His friend said as Phil's eyes went wide.
       "Phil? Is he right?" I asked suddenly scared that I meant nothing to him. "I was going to tell you, Dan. I still love you I'm just not sure if it's the way you love me. Dan I'm sorry," Phil pleaded. I headed for the door as my face quickly turned red. He grabbed my arm but I snatched it away, "How could you lie to me?!" I ran out the door. I knew he was following me but I didn't care.
                          -Reality-
      I looked down at his sleeping body. It was now 7:00 in the morning. I kissed him on the lips and he joined in. "Do you love me again?" Phil asked. "Yes. I do."
                      -Flashback-
       "Do you love me?" I asked. "Yes. I do," he said back as he went in for a kiss.
                        -Reality-
      "Maybe I don't. I don't know. I have no idea. And I don't want you to get invested in me. I know I love you like that. I know Phil. But I always have visions of that night. I don't know if I can trust you after that night," I said. "But I'll try."
       "What happened after that night? Where did you go?" He asked me. Do you mean where I wish I didn't go?
                       -Flashback-
I ran out the door. I knew he was following me but I didn't care.
        I kept running and then I hid behind the alley to the right's dumpster. "DAN?! DAN COME BACK I LOVE YOU!" I heard him yell. When he got to the door he looked around. He couldn't see me. He saw trails in the snow going from the door to the left so he followed them. When he was out of sight I got up.
        I walked to the back of the alley. I figure if I just sit down with my head in my heads and cry all my fears would disappear. Before I get to the back I hear a noise. I slowly turn around to see them dickface the called me a faggot in the party. "Hey faggot. What's wrong you're boyfriend left you?!" He yelled. I slowly backed up until my back hit the way. He continued to get closer.
      He got up in my face and punched me in the nose... then in the stomach. I fell to the ground and held my stomach while crying silently. He kicked me in the stomach repeatedly and soon my vision started to blur.
      "You're a fucking waste of breath!" He yelled. His friends came over and helped him finish me off.
                         -Reality-
        "Nothing happened. I walked around. I cleared my mind. What did you do?" I asked. "I went searching for you. When I couldn't find you I went back to the house and cried. I was so nervous. I thought you were going to get jumped or something!" "I'm fine. Really I am."
                         -Flashback-
        I woke up at the house that the party was at. I was on a pool table. That's weird I don't remember having a single drink last night. 
       I looked down and noticed cuts on my arms. It all came back to me. They must have cut me in my sleep or something. Cause I remember passing out.
       I know it's not a good thing but I'm proud that my first cuts were not done by me.
      I got up quickly and even quicker I regretted it. I winced in pain and limped towards the door. There was a sign on it that said, "We know where you live faggot! We've been to Phil's house before!" I stared at it for a few minutes and then left. I was pissed. Not at the people who jumped me. For calling me a faggot. Not even for... well for jumping me. I was pissed at myself. Because I had let them do it. I was so weak I didn't even try to stop them.
                          -Reality-
*Knock knock*
       "I'll get it," I said. I walked towards the door and saw him. The guy that jumped me. "PHIL!" At least I got a scream out. At least he knows I'm being hurt. Who am I kidding?!
He probably set this whole thing up.
He probably wanted this to happen.
He probably doesn't even care.