The Crazies

Fried pickles and maple beans

On your face and on your knees

Drinking beer and spiced tea

I love the similarities between you and me

We like to climb old trees

And fuck the ass of older bees

Up high in the sky where we feel crazy and free

Mostly because we’ve smoked some weed

Cherry flavoured joints, no worries we only had three

But fuck, what’s this, all I see are feet

Of Mr. Caterpillar who is so petite

Running and screaming up and down the street

Knocking on doors saying, "trick or treat

"Pull down your pants I’m craving meat."

There’s no need for me to be discreet

I have a fetish and I like to skeet

I like to play hard, I know not of defeat

Bitches love my phallus it’s like a hot seat

Come a little closer I’ll give you a lil' treat

It’s white and sticky with a hint of sweet

You fit me as perfectly as a fitted sheet

Then suddenly--wtf—Dr. Dre headphone beats

Listening to music sitting in the back seat

This game was fun why don’t we repeat

Don’t be scared, there’s no need to retreat!

Shh its okay, you’ll like it I promise

Our next target is good ol' Saint Thomas

Using leather and lace and possibly a harness

I know what I’m doing I’ve watched Pocahontas

You know you want it, no need to be dishonest

You’ll be the canvas, and I’ll be the artist

I’ll paint you with all the colours of the wind 

Using my paint brush that is hardest

Oh shit! My bad. Was that your eye?

This brings back memories of Jr high

Though last time I did this it was on a pork pie

I don’t moan when I come, I battle cry

What noises do you make by the by?

Ew, that wasn't attractive. Now I’m bone dry.

There’s really no point for this now so until next time…goodbye.