Please Forgive Me

Chapter 1: Quiet These Days

Louis's P.O.V
There goes another day again. I sigh, looking at the digital clock setting on my nightstand. It's 5:50 p.m. I have cried for almost 2 hours now. Why did I break up with Harry? He didn't deserve that. I curl up under my covers again and try going back to sleep. That only really means that I'm going to cry for another two hours. I feel tears overflow the brim of my eyes and slowly roll down my cheeks. As if I hadn't cried enough already, the feeling of losing Harry returned. What is wrong with me? To want to let him go? I didn't want to let him go! But I did!
Now I don't...that doesn't matter though... not when the one you loved... you let go. I hear a sob break from my throat and I begin squalling like a little infant baby. I need to get Harry back! Especially when I know how much I care about him. Would he still have the same feelings?
My heart fluttered at the thought. His warm and loving arms taking me in one of his sweet Hazzy bear hugs. His gentle emerald green eyes looking directly into mine. I miss every single thing about him. Even his corny jokes that always made me laugh. I wipe my tears with the back of my hand and sit up. If I'm lucky Harry will still be at his house. His house only being ten minutes from here. I sigh and throw my feet over the side of the bed. I begin rubbing my sore swollen cheeks and whimper. I know that I look like a complete wreck, without even taking a glance in the mirror.
I already know. I walk over towards the bathroom anyway. As soon as I see myself I flinch. I look worse than I thought. A lot worse actually. A few moments pass before I begin getting myself ready. I slipped out of my clothes and into the shower. I love taking warm long lasting showers. The ones that have me feeling refreshed afterwards. I grabbed the coconut scrub and lathered myself from my chest to my feet. I love the scent of the scrub and the feeling it gives me when I become clean. I soon pick up a pink bar of dove soap. I lather the suds in my hand and begin washing over my face.
Before I know it I'm completely clean and turning off the water. That was the easy part, now I have to decide what to wear. Especially when I want impress someone like, Harry Styles. I walk over to my dresser and pick out the three most important things. Black briefs, red and black striped shirt, and black skinny jeans. I know that finding the right shoes would be a hell of a time. Why did everything I say or think remind me of him. Of Harry. Was it because I still loved him? Maybe because his words actually meant something to me? I sighed yet this time walking over to my closet. There sat all of my shoes. From my collection of Adidas all the way to my collection of Bobs. The collections could be endless. I pick up a black pair of bobs and smile. These were the ones I mostly wore on the X Factor. I even think Harry borrowed them a time or two. When he could actually wear my shoe size.
A knock on the door grabbed my attention. I look up to see my mum, a worried look easily seen on her face.
"Boo Bear... honey..." She walks over to me and sighs. I flinch when she tries to rub my shoulder.
"I-Is everything alright?"
I nod my head slowly but I can't help the tears that form in my eyes. I don't want sympathy or any if the lovey dovey stuff. The kind of things that work in the movies. Blech. That's not going to work with me. Not this time anyway.
She takes me in a loving hug and despite my thoughts I melt in her arms. She cuddles me close, like the loving mother I know she is, and all I do is sob. I can't even fathom an explanation of why I'm crying...I just cry. My cheeks are sore and my eyes are red. Even after all the crying I've done. It's obvious that I'm never going to stop. This will be an endless cycle.