Flashbacks:
I sit in bed and the only thing you can do other than sleep is think,
Not the good thoughts either,
Why didn't i do this or why didn't i do that,
If I was there sooner how could it have changed,
If these scars disappeared would I have won her over?
Would I have more friends?
Thoughts come out as nothing but scribbles the black scribbles all over the blank white mind until it explodes,
Pills, nooses, needles, cliffs, courage.
Why do flash backs happen?
I care for these people so much until they eventually leave and leave and yet a simple song and your mind loses it.
I remember the facial features the way she smiles the way she looked the way she played music the way she...
There it goes again,
Another scribble on the blank mind in my head full of thoughts as if the child of whoever is watching treats the head of many as if it were a coloring book without borders,
They push the borders to the edge until you burst,
We cannot burst because love, humor, friends, family.
What's a world without those right?
We speak of a world were so many speak behind your back until you are left there wondering what they think of you,
You wonder an wonder and think until you start to think they don't like you and that you must leave you think and think that they...
Scribbles again all over the blank mind you nor I can control in this mad world they call earth known as hell,
I hope one day I can simply sleep and not be known as someone who has insomnia when I am not even sick,
For the only sickness that has gotten to me is depression and it's not simply insomnia..
It's a package...
A package full of border less coloring books,
And there's nothing left but scribbles to be put in,
Until you break and lose it,
Then you buy another book without choice,
Repeat, recycle,
Nothing left to do but wait until life gives you that friend,
That loved one,
That one special some one or some thing,
That special eraser,
To erase the scribbles inside your mind.
I will be your eraser.
