Goodbye Means Forgetting

But Peter did grow up.

No child is immune to growing up not even that clever Peter Pan. Like most boys his age he was quick to anger, full of curiosity, and never afraid to get a little dirty. And after sending Wendy, John, and Michael back to London, Peter had many adventures with his Lost Boys in Neverland.  They hunted Indians in the forests. Spent weeks exploring the caves along the coasts of the Lagoon. Peter even wasted days hanging in the trees with the fairies. But with each passing day Peter began to forget. Little things at first. Then days began to blur and the colors around him began to dull.  The hunts ceased being exciting. The skies above Neverland didn’t seem quite so boundless.  The seas became less vast, and even the chatter of the mermaids began to bore him.

The Lost Boys were beginning to worry about Pan. He began shutting them out, spending days locked in his room. So they sought out Tinkerbelle to help them. Tinkerbelle did her best to cheer him, but he banished her from the hideout without listening. He laid his head on his pillow and gazed up at the root ceiling. He could hear the Boys whispering in the other rooms.

“What should we do?”

“He isn’t fun anymore…”

“Maybe he’s sick.”

“I wish Wendy was here…John and Michael too!”

“…And Teddy!”

Peter blinked. “Wendy?” He whispered it to himself. The name seemed familiar, but he couldn’t quite place it. It was like a dream, the kind so beautiful and wonderful, you close your eyes trying to hold on to it. But as the precious moments slip by you forget, this was no different. The more Peter tried to hold on to it, the faster it faded.  Scratching his head he moved his hand under his pillow and his fingers brushed something small and metallic. He knew what it was before he pulled it out from under the pillow. He held it above his head turning the cold metal between his fingers. He felt the metal warm in his hands and watched the light reflect off the shiny surface.

“Wendy…” he whispered again. Then suddenly he sat upright.

“A THIMBLE!” He shouted. The Boys came rushing into the room. Their faces peeked from around the doorframe. They were shocked by what they saw… Peter was smiling. It wasn’t just any smile, his eyes seemed to glimmer. Then he threw back his head and let out huge belly laugh. And Peter’s laughter was so contagious that the Boys began laughing as well. The Boys came rushing into the room laughing and shouting. Peter wrapped his arms around his sides and began hover over the bed rolling with laughter. Suddenly Peter stopped in midair, a hush descended amongst the boys.

“I’m going,” he began. The Boys opened their mouths to protest, Peter silenced them with a wave of his hand and continued.

“Aw now, get rid of those long faces…I’ll be back.”

“But Peter where ya gonna go?” Tootles chimed. Peter opened his fist and showed the Boys the thimble. Their eyes widened, shooting each other worried looks.

“To return this.” He replied grinning brightly at them.  

“Do you know where that belongs?” They asked in unison. His face fell. He hadn’t the slightest idea where to go. He ruffled his hair concentrating on the thimble. Suddenly he remembered…a chime…a window.

“Stories…” he mumbled. He was starting to remember something and his head began to ache.

“OH, tell us a story Peter! Cinderella!” The twins chirped.

“Just like Wendy!” Slightly remarked smiling.

Peter turned to Slightly, “What’s a Wendy?”

“She’s our Mother of course…don’t ya remember?” Slightly turned to Tootles, “Call for Tink!”

Tootles ran out of the room, the sound of his footsteps echoed out of the hideout. The remaining Boys all spoke at once. They began telling him about London, the stories, and Wendy. Peter sat dumbfounded.

“Why don’t I remember?” He asked not talking to anyone in particular. He looked up as Tinkerbelle flew in followed by a slightly out of breath Tootles. Tinkerbelle flew up to Peter’s face and blew pixie dust into his eyes. He blinked around the room.

“This is high treason Tootles!” He stood pulling his dagger from his belt, and held it at Tootles’ throat.

“B-but…” he stammered, his body shaking. Peter lowered the dagger still glaring accusingly at the Boys.

“Why is Tink here?! I banished her!” Just then Tinkerbelle chimed in his ear. And Peter brushed her away.

He turned to Tinkerbelle, “What window?”

Tinkerbelle began to tell him about his first journey to London and the Darling children. Peter sat back on the bed, putting the thimble into his pocket. His mind was racing. How could he have forgotten Wendy and her stories? The bravery of John and Michael. He remembered Hook....and the kiss. It was that kiss that Peter feared. There was one thing that Peter was afraid of, before meeting the Darling children he had never given much thought to growing up, not that he was immune to the effects of aging. Since leaving them in London he had grown a few inches and his voice began to change.

Peter had begun to feel and feelings lead to growing up. Gone were the days when Peter existed solely for the next battle. There were no more threats, there were no more secrets left in Neverland, this Peter knew. Yet he rejected it and clung stubbornly to childhood, so much so that he began to forget. He rejected the changes, locking them away, but despite his efforts some things lingered. He pulled the thimble from his pocket again.

“I have to go…” he sighed.