I Wonder If That Dawn Didn't Come

I Wonder...

Here I find myself yet again, sitting on the hill side, watching the Sun fall while Behind me the moon rises. It's like I just want to be here till dawn comes again. It's peaceful. Just the cool breeze touching my skin and blowing my hair away. It feels like my worries just get flows away. The sound of flowing water on he river flowing right in front of me. The green soft grass that greets both of me cheeks, welcoming them. The trees that are making rustling sounds while the birds chirm and the squirrels squeak. It definitely feels like I'm the only human alive now. I feel very... enlightened. As the sun set I gaze upon it's beauty. All was well but then I heard a faint but familiar voice. "Do you remember the time where we use to watch this together?" Her soft and heavenly voice are adding to this kind of atmosphere and of coarse I don't need to see her face to know who she is. "Yeah, those where the days." I replied with a faint voice and a hint of nostalgia. "i Wonder what would have happened if we continued." I can feel her approaching me and sitting beside me. " I wonder that myself but more than that. I wonder how we could've continued." With me saying that I quickly glanced at her face and I saw a her glance back. "Now that I think about it... I don't think it was possible." She looks down and plays with the grass. While I lye down on the grass. Looking at the sky. "Who knows? I mean, I think it could've possible" She suddenly looks at me with confusion. "How so?" "Well, Look at the stars. Looking at it right now. It's like it expands throughout the galaxies. An infinite amount of stars throughout the galaxies." She still looks at me with confusion but it looks like she remembered that I'm not really a guy who's easy to understand and lies down joining me at star gazing. "Ok, now that I've confused you. I'll explain. The stars represent the I wonders and what ifs. It's infinite. And it's the same as outcomes." She looks like she got some of that but I guess she hasn't gotten it yet. "Well, for example. remember when we hang out with the group and we pulled a prank on Lain?" She lets out a great smile. It makes me fell good and tingly whenever I see that smile. I guess thats one thing that didn't change about me. "Hahaha, yeah and then we made them think that we were dating. That was hilarious." "Hahahaha! Yeah that was amazing! Just by telling them that we were going out. They completely forgot about everything else and was so happy." "Yeah, and when we reviled that it was a joke. Ha! Hilarious. " Her sadistic side didn't change. "Yeah, Freaking Jenny almost killed me because of that. She really wanted us to become an Item." She actually almost did. I almost fell of the stairs from running away from her. "Well, She wasn't the only one right?" "Yeah she wasn't." She suddenly looks down at the grass. It looks like the sun has almost set. I wonder why but the sunset just doesn't feel like "just 6 pm" to me. even though I gaze at it almost everyday and Experience the overwhelming calmness of the event. She cuts the silence and says "Oh! We forgot about your stars analogy." "Oh yeah" I didn't even notice. It's just that talking to her is something that feels so natural. So it always feels like a conversation. It always branches out and gets into new topics. "Well, I could've not come at all. I could've chosen to not do the pranks but I did and the result was something nice. To us at least." She lets out a small chuckle. "Yeah, now I know what you're saying." "Alright good." "..." Silence. the both of us Raised our backs to just watch the sun disappear from our vision. Its like the world is coming into eternal darkness but then the moon just appears. After that Dawn comes. It was so calm and everything was nice. With Her here, it doesn't feel lonely. I's like a different experience from what I do every evening. Then she breaks the silence again "Hey" "yeah?" She looks at me. Our faces are close with each other but it doesn't feel Awkward or out of place. "I wonder what could've happened if I chose you instead." I was shocked by that. I didn't expect that. I feel like I'm sweating and I didn't know how to respond. I don't know what to compare it to. Is it like the feeling of a huge spider just looking at you or is it the feeling seeing an old friend that you haven't seen in years but... "I wonder that as well. But to be honest. I think it could've made us watch the dawn more often." "Well remember when it happened?" "Yeah, it was 3 years ago. at this very spot. at 5 am." I remember that day like it was yesterday. The sunset that I watch very often is like a reminder of that day. The day where it all went downhill. Then she said in a faint voice "You know, I regret doing it" Her eyes looked like it was going to shed tears any minute. "Well, I regret not trying harder." I really do regret letting go. I should've fought for it but I ran away. Now that awful memory haunts me every single day. "Well, I guess we all have regrets." She said trying to mask her sadness but she failed. Tears started to drop down her face. " I wonder if we chose the opposite. Would we be happier? or would it be another thing to regret upon in the future? And where we really meant to be?" I look at her as more tears run down her eyes. And as the sun completely disappears we both look at each other and smile." Hey at least we're both here." "Yeah but I really do think of that what if... I wonder if that dawn didn't come."